Valentine's Is For Lovers...

This one is for SweetB since she was expecting me to post about Valentine's on Valentine's:
BBC News | WORLD | In pictures: Valentine's Day around the world
So for her and all you other romantic bastards, Happy Belated Horny Werewolf Day. No I'm not bitter. Not in the fuckin' least...

And You Thought The East Coast Had It Bad...

Biggest Lightning Storm Ever Recorded on Saturn - Yahoo! News

"Scientists are tracking the strongest lighting storm ever detected at Saturn. The storm is larger than the continental United States, with electrical activity 1,000 times stronger than the lightning on Earth."

Um, damn...

If Stupid Was A Crime...

though apparently it is in North Dakota. Seriously, WTF, man?!?!

Woman Allegedly Tries to Buy Pot From Cops - Yahoo! News:

Mon Feb 13, 10:44 PM ET
WEST FARGO, N.D. - A North Dakota State University student is facing charges after allegedly trying to buy marijuana at the police station.

Saturday's incident was 'about the craziest thing I've ever come across,' Officer Ken Zeeb said. 'This is something that you couldn't even make up.'

The 20-year-old woman called the police station about 3:15 a.m. Saturday, asking where she could buy marijuana, authorities said. The dispatcher, after repeatedly telling the woman it was illegal to sell and possess marijuana, then told her that police had some of the drug in the station's evidence locker.

Zeeb had arrived for his 4 a.m. shift about 15 minutes early and was in the evidence locker room when the woman arrived.

"The dispatcher got on the intercom and said, 'You know what? She's here. She just handed me $3 for marijuana,'" Zeeb said.

The woman was arrested on charges of criminal attempt and possession of drug paraphernalia.

"She didn't seem like she was really under the influence of drugs or alcohol," Zeeb said. "She understood what was going on and articulated herself well."

Questions & Comments

This is mostly for Rain (feel free to comment or create your own response post) but everyone else please feel free to comment as well.

Oprah
Yeah, I know. But, hey, I thought it might actually be informative. It used to be informative when they had those “get-out-of-debt-you-to-can-be-a-millionaire” shows. Now it’s just... I don’t even have the words. But, damn it, Dave Chappelle will be on today. I really feel like I need to see that. You know someone is going to bring up his Oprah skit. That alone will probably be worth it.

Kiyosaki
I got nothing. I know why you say he is a fraud. I know what John Reed thinks of his book. He is pretty much on point. But I think Kiyo is guilty of doing what he can to come up. He does what most people do in his position. Give you a basic concept for something in order to entice you into buying more and more until you can piece together the whole picture. I have read 2 of his books and understand “the game” (not the board game, though I have played it and understand it too). Suffice it to say those 2 books are about all I need to read from him. Something you learn in book 3 (yeah, I skipped book 2, don’t remember why) is all that pay “yourself first” crap applies to corporations. He never mentioned that in the first book. But I must admit the board game is fun as hell with a group of people. Though charging $200 for it is damn near criminal. If he wanted to really be rich he would license it to Milton Bradley charge $25 for it and start rackin’ in the dough. No, I have not bought it.

Reggie Hudlin
Yo, what did he do to Aaron McGruder? I hadn’t heard anything about that. I’ve read a couple of articles\interviews with Aaron McGruder and he only mentioned it in one. And then all he would say about it is that things didn’t work out. But they were still contractually obligated to include him as a producer in the credits of the Boondocks. Even still does that mean I shouldn’t read a good book because of something the author did in his personal life. Should I not listen to R. Kelly or Michael Jackson anymore either? Hmm, that’s probably a subject I don’t need to even bring up... But, for real, what happened with them? The Boondocks is one of the best shows on TV right now. I blame all that on Aaron.

Hoopz
Thing about her is that she is my type of all the chicks on that show. Stripper or not she is fine. I’ve seen her website and she doesn’t look nearly as good on it. Hell, I saw it before I ever saw the show and didn’t even recognize her. But it’s not, just, that she is fine but her TV edited personality seems cool too. So, that’s just gravy. But I do have other types too. That might be something to post about later. Though for now I can get passed her nose...

Murano
How did you like that Nissan you rented. I know you didn’t particularly care for the styling but other than that how did you like it? My lease (long story don’t ask) is up in November so I am in the market for a new car. Mostly cause I don’t like the idea of paying on my current car for another 3 to 4 years. The Murano is a consideration mostly because my company can get a discount on Nissans and secondly because I want an SUV. I hate the new look of the Pathfinders and the Xterras get like 15mpg on the highway. Please feel free to offer any SUV suggestions. Though try to keep the price below $30K.

Redlining
I think you are a victim of this too, dawg. I mean I’m in the exact same boat. If I moved to Glendale it would effectively cut my payments almost in half. Give or take $10. Never mind my lack of moving violations or accidents or anything else that you would think plays a major part in the price of your premiums. The bad stuff effects the price why not the lack of it too. After years of a spotless driving record the most I could get from my company was a 9 month payment as opposed to a 10 month. While I appreciate it, it does seem a little... patronizing. I mean everything else stayed exactly the same. And, yes, the down payment does cover the remaining months.

Sticky on the Come Up

I meant to make a post about this awhile ago but, apparently, Kirk “Sticky Fingaz” Jones will be playing Blade in the made for TV movie. Yes, the same Blade portrayed by Wesley Snipes in the movies. It will be premiering soon on SpikeTV. And since Marvel and Spike have just announced that it will be an ongoing series (reminding me I was supposed to comment on it) I figured no time like the present. While Sticky is certainly not the first person that comes to mind, I think he might do an alright job. Though until this moment no one else had come to mind. Taye Diggs, maybe? Hey, go watch Equilibrium before you start hemmin’ and hawin’ about that one. All you really have to do as Blade is just walk around like a badass and kick ass like one. I think Sticky will do fine. Considering his impressive performance on that show Platinum I have to figure Blade will be cake for him. Keep in mind I saw him in that movie Ride and in Next Friday. Considering that this is the same person that was on Platinum he deserves a damn Oscar. Or at least some consideration (no, not really for an Oscar). Seriously have you seen Ride? Did you catch Next Friday? To go from that to his work on Platinum is damn near phenomenal. Forget about that fact that he has been in a ton more stuff than I even knew about. So, for the time being I’ll give Blade the TV movie the benefit of the doubt. Hmm, but then again it is on SpikeTV...

Does GLAAD Need to Grow Up?

I’m just curious. I didn’t see the episode of American Idol that had them in an uproar. However, I did see the clip where Randy questions the guy about whether or not he was a girl. And to me he seemed justified. I mean think about it for a minute. Put yourself in his shoes. A kid walks in that looks like a girl. Hair done up like a girl. Sounds like a girl. Dresses like a girl. And pretty much has feminine mannerisms and attitude but then begins referring to himself (herself?) as a he. Wouldn’t you wonder too? All Randy asked was “are you a girl?” And he kinda did the stutter stammer thing, “are...? are...? are you a girl?” When the guy was like “I’m a guy.” He looked confused and was like “oh, ok.” Too me he seemed genuinely curious. In all honesty EXTRA didn’t show what the other judges had to say about it. But you would think it was some horrible degrading shit the way the guy stormed out of the building proclaiming how racist, sexist, and hateful, not only American Idol but the United States, was. Bare in mind I didn’t see the clip of Simon telling the guy he should wear a dress. And from what I have read about that incident it was probably a completely different person with a completely different situation. I’m just wondering if this is an issue that GLAAD needs to rally behind to chastise FOX and American Idol. Like Brad Pitt said in Fight Club, “Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.“ But don’t get mad at people for being confused about it.

I'm In Love...

with a girl named Hoopz.

As horrified as I was by the idea of Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen, hooking up in Strange Love, I must admit Flavor of Love has become a guilty pleasure of mine. Initially, I thought it was hilarious:

1) because its Flavor Flav playing the bachelor
2) you get to see just how desperate women (people) can be
3) scheming golddigging bitches (and I mean that in the best way possible) and their delusions of grandeur really are train wreck disturbing and funny all at the same time

This is all a crazy recipe for insane drama. I watched the first episode with a mild sense of trepidation but since it was a lazy Sunday, with nothing else on, I gave it a chance. It wasn’t as bad as you might think. While it was strange and disturbing it was actually pretty funny. And not all of the woman on the show came off as money hungry gold diggers. Some actually seemed genuine and sweet. Others came off as... well, a little disturbed. While I haven’t seen every episode completely I do catch it when I can. So far it hasn’t disappointed in it’s entertainment value. If you can allow yourself to be entertained by such a show. But truth be told the only reason I do catch it when I can is one person in particular. Which brings me to the afore mentioned object of my affection.

Hoopz (nickname given to her by Flav, I didn’t catch any of the real names in the first ep) is one of the girls that seems to be surviving the cut every week on the show. And I’m glad she is. Because she is why I watch this show and she is beautiful. The most beautiful on that show in my opinion. I know Rain is probably saying, “what he doesn’t like the asian chicks?” Contrary to popular belief I have an appreciation for the beauty of all woman. Except for evil bitches. Unless they are exceptionally gorgeous. But even then... Anyway, most of the women on that should could be more attractive if they didn’t have all that makeup caked on the there faces. One of the things that I like about Hoopz is that she rarely wears any and when she does she doesn’t look all crazy. She is naturally fine and her body looks just right. Tats and all. Pretty eyes and one of those rare women with a smile that moves me. She is young, from Michigan and at the very least, edited to be a cool ass, down to Earth, round-the-way-girl type of chick. Plus, she can fry the hell out of some chicken. In retrospect I wonder if her Michigan vibe is what drew me to watch her more closely. Me being from Detroit and all. Did I mention she had a great body?

So, yeah I got a thing for a girl named Hoopz. Whose only apparent fault, I can find through the editing, is that she is on a show attempting to win the affection of an ole school rapper that looks like a cockroach (I like Flavor Flav as much as the next but let’s be real here, he ain’t winnin’ no beauty contests). So, for the few of you out there that are still trying to figure out my type (Brooklyn, Rain, I’m talking to you), check out the show and look for the girl named Hoopz. She is definitely my type. Edited personality and all. But hey, Flav’s Moms liked her. That’s got to count for something if momma thinks she’s cool. Right?

Gentrification: The Brilliance of the Boondocks

I like The Boondocks. I enjoy the strip and the cartoon is great. Catch it on Sunday nights at 11pm on Cartoon Network when you get a chance. Last night there was an episode called the Itis. Which was about GrandDad opening a restaurant of the same name, with Mr. Wuncler (the rich white guy from the first episode). I won’t bore you with the meaning of the ‘Itis.’ I suggest asking a black friend for some clarity. While initially it appears to be the main focus of the episode I think it has a more sinister commentary behind it.

*SPOILER WARNING*

See, GrandDad cooks on Sunday and makes food rich in pig lard. Actually, that and butter all he uses to cook. So even the vegetable dishes have pork in them. People eat, get the itis and Mr. Wuncler thinks GrandDads soul food would make a good restaurant. Cool, GrandDad is excited and Huey is deeply concerned about the health of the customers. Because people are getting addicted to the food. Like drug addicted. Literally people are becoming soul food junkies and slowly but surely the neighborhood degenerates into the type of place that police take hours to get to when a crime is committed. By the end of the episode Mr. Wuncler closes down the restaurant due to a multitude of lawsuits from customers who have become unhealthy after eating themselves silly. Doesn’t seem to bad, right? GrandDad cooks unhealthy food, gets a restaurant, Huey is deeply concerned, restaurant closes to obesity complications. An episode about the dangers of an unhealthy diet. What’s so sinister about that you, might ask? The gentrification of the neighborhood. Which was mostly gentrified anyway.

Even as I type this I have to wonder if there wasn’t something even more sinister than that going on here. Let me explain. When Mr. Wuncler takes GrandDad to see the future location of their restaurant (which is currently occupied by Wuncler’s health food cafe, which he hates and the people who frequent it) he makes a comment about how he has been trying to buy the park across the street for years. However, the city refuses to sell it to him, but he keeps trying. So, when Wuncler gets Chico (one of the cooks) to order some pigs, lard and butter he tells GrandDad that he wants to go for the whole urban black thing. Cause thats what the kids are into. Now by the end of the ep Wuncler closes shop because of the lawsuits. The first of which he offers to pay the insurance deductible and the case is settled. He leaves smiling and by the last scene the Itis, as well as the rest of the shops on the street, are all rundown and boarded up. Wuncler stands looking pensive and then he turns to look across the street. And what do we find? The park (which encompassed the whole other side of the block) is fenced up and there is construction equipment and huge signs that say Wuncler Construction. Close up on Wuncler. He smirks and walks off. Fade to Black. Credits roll.

When I saw that I said, “Damn, he finally got his park.” Then it occurred to me. He did all that just to get the park. My boy had come over to watch it too and after I said that he noted, “Damn, niggas, wouldn’t even get that. Niggas, wouldn’t even have noticed what just happened on this show. Damn.”

But now I think it’s worse than that. See, gentrification implies that you’re driving people out of their communities in order to buy it up for cheap and revamp it into something more conforming to the middle class life style. For example, allowing the inner city neighborhood of a place like, oh I don’t know, Detroit, to become so rundown and dilapidated that developers come in and buy up the property for cheap (relatively speaking). Moving out the remaining residents, that got no city support in helping to build up there neighborhood, and then developing new and thriving businesses so that white people move back to the inner city and you can have Super Bowl XL in your city. Thus, the rich getting richer and so forth.

In this episode, Wuncler did something above and beyond normal gentrification. He basically came up with a plan to run an entire neighborhood, that was already very well off, into the ground. As stated in the episode he pretty much owned most of the block. All he needed was that park. And by ruining a small community he got it. Which would surely add to his net worth once he has completed whatever he had in development at the park (or the former park I should say). With luck it will be brought up again in a later episode.

Maybe I’m putting to much thought into a cartoon but considering the social commentary that seems to go into weaved into every episode, I have to wonder. I’m not even sure if there is a word for what happened. Degentrification? Regentrification? Ultragentrification? Who knows? All I know is, that is the type of shit, that goes on in real life. Right under peoples noses. And it goes completely unnoticed. If you don’t believe me do some research on the city of Detroit or Atlanta or even Downtown LA. Maybe you might see a pattern. Or maybe the Boondocks is just a funny ass show.

Oprah Sucks...

Ok, not really. Just her show. Which I don’t normally watch. Earlier this week I was duped into taping an episode with the promise that, “if you are in debt you can’t afford to miss this episode.” Of course, I thought this was a good idea. I’m in debt, so I figured she would be offering up some good information. So, I tape the episode and a couple days later sat down to watch it. All the while thinking there would be some good info for people in debt (not that I don’t know how to manage my debt mind you, but knowledge is power). I couldn’t have been more wrong. This was more worthless than the episode she had a year or two ago about people that became millionaires. Let me digress and briefly recap that old episode:

Oprah: So how did you get started?

Guest: Well I had an idea, I worked at it, made these teddy bears, and now I’m filthy fuckin’ rich.
(keep in mind this particular guest had already had a lucrative career in the business world, big time stockbroker or CEO or something like that)

Oprah: Isn’t that great everybody?!?!

*audience screaming & applause*

And it pretty much went on like that every few minutes for the whole episode. Oprah speaks to guest, guest responds, Oprah responds and the audience goes ape shit for what seems like waaaaaay too long. I should have learned my lesson then. By contrast, several years ago she actually had a similar show about this where Robert Kiyosaki actually offered some real advice. At least, some more than just, “you can do it.” Which brings me to this past weeks episodes...

It started off interestingly enough. Black couple living the american dream. Working class husband and wife. They both work. Have a nice house. Nice cars. Husband makes the bulk of the money. Wife keeps the house running (i.e. keeps the bills paid). There income combined is well over 100K and hubby has something like $60K or $80K in the 401K. Doing pretty well for themselves. Except wifey has a secret. Something horrible and potentially devastating to their relationship. Hmm, this is Oprah and it’s a show about debt. So I guess she didn’t use to be a man and she’s probably not cheating on him. She agonized and cried and physically made herself sick for the first 15 to 20 minutes of the show. Apparently they weren’t as debt free as hubby thought they were (he himself claims to be completely debt free). See hubby thought that with the house and car notes they were in the hole about $40. Um, yeah think again. They are in it for about $160K. Given wifey’s credit cards and student loans with their ever accruing interest (I’m feeling her on that one but she got me bet, easy) they are in deep. Hubby had no idea. At all. He was shocked, stunned and every other word you can think of. And what does Oprah do? She explains that she wasn’t out to ambush him or embarrass them. It’s not that kind of show. So she brings out Dave Ramsey. He wrote a book about being rich then poor then rich again. So he is an expert on debt. And what does he do? Basically, he explains to them, for the reminder of their time on the show, that they can deal with this, get passed it, and work it out. But they will have to work together. And he will help them after the show. Um, WHAT. THE. FUCK?

That was it? That was his big advice? This is why people in debt should watch this show? They can’t be serious. Maybe they will save the good stuff for last. One more family to go. This will be brief...

Ok, the first half hour was useless. Second half brings a new family. Affluent, white family of four. One son (16) and one daughter (17). With credit cards and absolutely no concept of work, working, or where money comes from. None what so ever. Buying shoes, Prada bags, and lunch for their friends like their credit limit was free refills of coke at Applebee’s that someone else bought them. And the parents are at their wits end as to what to do about it. The father is completely incapacitated not speaking more than 2 words the whole show. The mother just going on and on about how great her kids are. No discipline problems, straight A’s, never getting into trouble, just great, great, great (Oh, and they each have brand new cars because the parents want them to be safe [forget the fact that daughter completely totaled her first one after something like a month no less]). Except, they are spoiled fuckin’ rotten and incapable of surviving in the real world with out leeching off of Mommy and Daddy. Oprah and Dave pretty much told them this. And what was Dave Debt Experts advise? Of course, since it was mostly about the kids for this fam, he encouraged them to teach them discipline, make them work, learn about money, blah, blah, blah... Ultimately, it boiled down to you can deal with this, get passed it, and work it out. Not to mention the parents apparent resistance to any idea that there is something wrong with this. But that’s ok, cause Dave is going to work with them after the show too. Um, Shows over folks.

And this is the show people in debt needed to see? Why? So we can feel better about our own situation? I was so pissed after watching this crap. I could have learned more passing the time on the internet then the hour I spent on this drivel. I expect something more informative from Oprah than this. But, then again, I blame that on Robert Kiyosaki...

Ok, Happy New Year & All That Good Stuff

Just wanted to get that out of the way...

You Should be Reading the Black Panther

Seriously. You should be. For those that don’t know Black Panther is a comic book published by Marvel Comics. It’s about an African King named T’Challa that rules a fictional country called Wakanda. Traditionally the king of this country takes the title of Black Panther and wears the ceremonial costume of the panther. Which looks cooler than it sounds. But ultimately this makes him a super hero as the costume is made with a special metal unique to Wakanda. This metal is called Vibranium. To those that are up on there Marvel Comics history will know that this metal is 2nd only to Marvels other fictional metal Adamantium. Not to mention that the Black Panther is a skilled combatant, tactician, and all the other stuff that makes him a great ruler. I’ll let you search Wikipedia for a more detailed explanation of this stuff.

But my point is the lasted volume of Black Panther books being published is pretty cool. It’s written by Reginald Hudlin. Movie buffs will recognize him as the director of Boomerang (yeah, where has he been?) starring Eddie Murphy and Halle Berry way before she won the Oscar. Not only that but he has breathed new life into this character. Truth be told I always thought the Black Panther was a cool character just not necessarily cool enough to warrant his own book. But, damn, if this book hasn’t been one of the most interesting, action packed, and funniest books I read on a monthly basis (mostly, it probably actually comes out ever 4 to 6 weeks, roughly, publishers are much more flexibly these days about what constitutes a monthly series). Eleven issues in and it’s just as interesting (and probably more action packed) than it was when it first started. Even the tie-in to the ‘House of M’ story line was good considering... (only avid comic book readers even know what that is). Never the less you got to give props to a brother that can come up with an effective and unique way to take down Apocalypse (again avid comic book readers...) even if it didn’t involve him getting his hands dirty, per se.

The latest issue involves T’Challa and Luke Cage (aka Power Man) fighting off a group of ninjas. There is also a brief a appearance by The Falcon, Shang Chi and Han (formerly Fu Manchu). Not only is it action packed it’s pretty damn funny too. The following are a few of the lines that I thought were funny (though probably funnier in context):

Luke: Do you know how many good times I had on that couch? I had the Black Cat on that couch!
_____________________________________________________

Panther: ...to offer me your daughter is quite an honor.
Luke: And not the fugly daughter either. She is fine.
_____________________________________________________

Luke: This woman is insanely beautiful... and I bet Han wasn’t lying about her abilities to please her man. Could it hurt to go out on a date with her?

So next time you are at a book store be on the look out for Black Panther. Pick up an issue and you might be pleasantly surprised. I mean in this day and age what comic is going to give you this much ethnic diversity in one issue? Let alone one featuring an African king...

All Grown Up

or
Still Waiting for Adulthood

Most of my life I’ve felt like a kid. Something I’ve noticed since I was a teenager is that from age to age there really is not much of a difference. You really are the same person for the most part. And pretty much from 17 on it’s been mostly an anticipation of what it would be like to be an adult. Why? Because I’m still me. I still feel like a high school kid wondering when I’m going to grow up. At 21 I was a little more mature than I was at 17 but I’ve been drinking since I was 14. So, now I can legally get drink, great. 27 was probably a little more mature than 21 and I had been on my own for a while. As in not needing my family for anything. Still I relied on my friends from time to time but still not quiet grown up yet. Now at 32 I’m probably a little more mature than 27. But I’m just as laid back and easy going as I have ever been. And I haven’t had to rely on my friends for anything other than their friendship for years now. At this point in my life I live in a studio apartment. I am on my 2nd car that I’ve gotten from a dealer (my 4th car in my whole life) and I can barely afford to buy a place of any real value in Southern California. I’d like to think that if real estate was more accessible to me I might feel more grown. I’m hoping to find out in 2006.

In the meanwhile, I do things on occasion that make me feel a little more grown up. Like when I got an accountant. A guy I used to work with recommended him. As I was looking for someone to assist me with something that might become a tax issue. This tax season will be my 4th, or maybe 5th with him. And when I see him and get my tax returns I feel like I’m a little bit closer to adulthood. The same way when I’ve gotten cars from dealerships. Not to mention the next time I do that I will be going in with good credit. For the first time ever. Matter of fact, I plan on using carsdirect.com for my next auto purchase. Because car salesmen suck and I want to deal with them as little as possible. So car buying and even car insurance buying makes me feel grown up. Though these feelings of grownupness[sic] are rare I’m grateful as they remind me that I’m still a kid at heart. And, thankfully, only have to deal with grown up stuff on occasion out of necessity. Yeah, I pay bills twice a month, but how often do you go car shopping or do taxes? I mean it’s great being able to buy video games and comic books at my leisure (mostly). I’m being grown and a kid all at the same time.

Today, is a grown up day as well. For the first time ever, a housekeeper is cleaning my bathroom and kitchen. Even as I type this. It’s an interesting feeling having someone clean your place. She actually works at my office and she cleaned my co-workers place. She did a great job for her so I figured maybe she could help me out. And truth be told I needed help. In a major way. I mean I have cleaned my bathroom, but my tub was in dire straits. Forget the fact that I suck at cleaning it. But combine that with the fact that no one but me has used it for the past year and well... you kinda see my dilemma. For the record I don’t count the couple weeks my boy CAR slept on the air mattress at my place. If only because I have seen his tube in worse shape than mine. So, yeah, I hired a housekeeper for my studio apartment. Because I’m grown enough to realize I needed some help and took action to get it. I’m just glad I found her. I’ve been doing some research on this for a while and she is cheaper than having a franchise service. Though, considering the state my bathroom was in, she will be getting a nice tip...

Conspiracies Abound II: Insurance Premiums

News flash, if you live in predominantly black or hispanic neighborhoods in LA you could be paying up to 85% more for your car insurance. Seriously I just saw it on ABC 7 news. But that ain’t no real news. My insurance agent told me that years ago. I could effectively cut my insurance in half by moving to Glendale. No shit. Forget the fact that the one accident in my 16 year driving career was in 1997 and was a “not my fault” fender bender. Forget the fact I haven’t had any traffic violations in over 4 years. No, fuck that. My neighborhood isn’t as nice as Burbank so my rates are higher. Fool you don’t live in Glendale so, fuck you, pay more.

See this is a real conspiracy. But nobody cares because all the people it effects don’t have a real voice. Insurance companies get away with this shit on a daily basis and what can we do about it. Move to a better neighborhood. Yeah that will happen. The offset cost of lowering my insurance isn’t exactly going to make up for the increase in rent I would have to pay. This is still California. Maybe I should consider moving back to the east coast. Or at least the eastern time zone. But who knows what other conspiracies maybe lurking about. I mean I just saw this shit on the news and you will be hard pressed to find this shit on the abc7.com site. If it’s there they ain’t making it easy to find. But come on, man, the daring dog rescue made the front fuckin’ page. God forbid they show the story about higher insurance prices in minority communities. And people think conspiracies theories are crazy. Give me a break...

Conspiracies Abound

I believe in conspiracies. To a certain extent. I believe that they exist but I couldn’t tell you of any that I know of. Certainly not anything that could be considered factually true or certain. But I’m sure they are out there. The media can’t possibly be privy to everything that goes on behind the scenes. Even if they were why would they tell us. I mean, really it’s 2005. That being said, apparently some anonymous former PR guy has compiled a timeline of the conspiracy to ruin Dave Chappelle’s career. Either that or some bored fan boy has too much time on his hands. Either way it’s an interesting read. Even if parts of it read like derivative science fiction. Not that any of you read the links I post but I thought it was interesting... bitches.

http://www.chappelletheory.com/

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like an Accident Waiting to Happen

I almost hit a Christmas Tree this morning. Through no fault of my own, I might add. It wasn’t like it was still in the ground. It was on the ground though. The 101 freeway to be exact. Somewhere just north of Universal City in the 2nd to the left lane. The truck in front of me swerved to the right and damn if I didn’t think, “Holy Shit, that’s a fuckin’ Christmas Tree!” I quickly looked to my left and swerved to avoid it. Thankfully there was no one on my left so I escaped unscathed. But damn. That was a big ass tree. It had to be at least 6 feet plus. And it was thick and bushy laid out on it’s side across the 2nd lane. And part of it in that first one. Hopefully, no one got into any accidents because of it. It’s hard to imagine someone would lose something that big and be completely oblivious. Looks like someone’s Xmas isn’t going too well. Maybe multiple someone’s if somebody hit that damn tree.

Essential for Writers... Possibly

That mad comic genius Warren Ellis has me reading an interview of the great Patton Oswald that is far too long for mere mortals to digest... For those that are adventurous, and as Sir Warren suggests, serious about any sort of writing. I present to you aspeacialthing.com’s interview with the incomparable Patton Oswald. Yeah, I know I’m a weird dude. If only because you will only ever hear me using the word, dude, in print. That’s right, you will never hear me use that word in a serious manner as a spoken statement, ever. Seriously... dude.

Evil Is As Evil Does

or
I’m Just A Real Bastard

And not just by definition. As Brooklyn can attest to when left unchecked my temper can cause me to lash out unexpectedly. It can be particularly shocking to people. By which I mean me. Though it is a truly rare thing to behold it has been known to happen on occasion.

Today, I momentarily flipped on a co-worker today. And it was mostly uncalled for. I won’t bore you with the details but basically it started with a call I got earlier. I tried to resolve it and sent it to who I thought could. After lunch I returned to my office on the phone. Sat at my desk, still on the phone and my co-worker proceeded to talk to me from across the room as though I wasn’t. Though, it was technically about the earlier issue, that is not how she came at me. Basically it was getting close to her time to leave and she wanted me to go up to the see the people in question. Mostly because other people were getting involved. Particularly because she was getting ready to leave. But instead of asking the guy sitting next to her. Who, to my knowledge, wasn’t on a call she coyly calls to me to tell me about this. While I’m already in the middle of a conversation. Even though I was pointing out I was on the phone.

And for a moment I lost it. Detroit rose up in me with an icy stare and flared nostrils. A snide remark about my cell phone and how it was in use and then my co-worker sitting next to her was volunteering to go look into this issue. At this point I collected myself and told my friend I would call her back (earlier in this same conversation she jokingly asked if my co-workers would vote me most likely to go postal because I’m so quiet, and of course I laughed and told her no, yeah right). I calmly walked over and sat beside my co-workers so she could tell us what the hell she was talking about. So she explained to us both what the deal was. This is when the phones started ringing and the guy left to go check out the issues.

That next call I think I was extra polite. As I was still in shock at how my demeanor had changed. I certainly didn’t want to have any misdirected anger at the caller. Especially since they were nice. Tell the truth I don’t know what happened. I had a relatively smooth day. With nothing crazy other than this incident. Maybe I just hate my job. What ever the case, the first chance I got I apologized as profusely as she would allow me to (which wasn’t much) for snapping at her. She didn’t deserve that. We get enough shit from this place with out giving it to each other. Thankfully, she was understanding. Almost to a fault. She’s an older woman. I can see her throwing hot grits on a brotha after convincing him everything is cool. Ok, I’m exaggerating. She is cool and she was cool about it. I’m still gonna keep my eye on her though. Maybe I’ll buy her lunch just to smooth things out. Hell, I still feel kind of bad about it.

Guilty Conscience

After this whole thing I told 2 of my co-workers about it. One being the guy that dealt with the issue. Expressing to them how bad I felt about what happened. The both laughed it off. They both seemed to think the coolness of our co-worker was such that she would ultimately be understanding. And that I pretty much shouldn’t worry about it. On another note the guy that handled the issue pretty much confirmed the cluster fuck of the situation. He gave them a quick fix but ultimately this is beyond us. Some shit just isn’t in our job description.

Adventures in Back Pain

"I am not a Prophet though I do have prophetic dreams.“ - Huey, The Boondocks

Ok, that’s probably not an exact quote. But considering the title of this entry you get the idea. Because this time last week I was having some real back problems. Through no apparent fault of my own. At least I’d like to think that. I was fine until last Sunday evening. Then my back started to ache. For the life of me I can’t figure out why. I didn’t pick up anything heavy or move in some awkward way. But it got progressively worse such that Monday morning I was ready for a new bed in the hopes that this might alleviate this issue. Well I was half right.

Oh and for the record I broke down and spent the money for a new bed. It’s great and I love it but I digress...

I lounged around most of the day last Monday hoping as I searched the web for an elusive deal on a new mattress that my pain would slowly subside. Considering I popped about 6 Motrin I was sorely disappointed. So by that afternoon I went back to the mattress store got the mattress I really liked and thankfully it was delivered that night. Laying on it was great as my back pain went away and unlike my old one it wasn’t a painful chore to roll over. So long story short by Tuesday my back was worse so I was out from work that day and the next. By Thursday I was still in pain but I could at least get my socks on to go to work. So as I suspected the decision was made for me and slowly but surely I have been recovering. Unfortunately I’m not at 100% but I figure 85-90% is better than the 37% I felt like last week. And, hey, now that I have a queen size I'm officially an adult, right?

Apart at the Seams

Not to keep harping on Seattle (which is a beautiful city by the way) but my friend had a great bed in the guest bedroom. I slept like a fuckin’ baby. And yeah I had to say ‘fuckin’ in order to emphasize how well I slept while I was there. I can’t remember when I was that comfortable or well rested. No achy back or waking up feeling like I need to go back to sleep. Not to say that my bed sucks. Though I realize now that it does. But it was adequate for the purpose of not sleeping on the floor. After this trip I now realize I am really missing out on a good nights sleep. I even went bed shopping over the weekend only to become jaded and cynical by the experience. Who knew a decent (as in good quality and comfortable) bed would be $800 plus. Forget the fact that a couple I really liked were about G.

So now I have a dilemma. Go deeper in debt for a better nights sleep or go the cheap route like I did when I was sleeping on the floor of my Apt. My current bed cost me about $200. Roughly. In part, I believe, because the guy felt bad for me. He seemed to relate to my situation. Hell, he even strapped the bed to the roof of his car and helped me move it in. The delivery guys were out making deliveries for the day. But now I’m better off (relatively) so it shouldn’t be that big a deal. But it is. I want to upgrade but damn. I found a $400 queen that was, again, adequate. Did I mention I currently have a full size. Moving up to a queen is a step unto itself. Let alone something in the $1000 range. Ultimately the decision may be made for me. I was sitting on the edge of my bed this morning and I noticed... it’s coming apart at the seams. And yes I noticed this through the bedspread. Not to mention I pulled it back to look and it was worse then I thought. Much worse. Between this and the occasional achy back (the one I forgot I had while I was away) I’m going to have to do something sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to sleep on it... no pun intended. Seriously.

The Revolution Will Be... Animated?

Apparently the revolution will be televised. And it's on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim no less. For those who don't know, that's when they show the more mature adult oriented programing from like 11pm to 5am Sunday through Thursday. And this past Sunday was the day they decided to have screw whitey day. Because between the Boondocks, Minoriteam, Squidbillies and to a lesser extent Robot Chicken it was all about how the white man was holding us back. Or in the case of Squidbillies just hatin' in general. It was an interesting evening of programming to say the least. Not to mention Boondocks used the N-word 18 times. I heard it was supposed to be 15 but I counted. Interesting indeed. I just wonder how long they can keep up this level of subversion before the real 'MAN' says, "WTF are y'all doin'?."