Well maybe not literally but they are certainly trying to give my liver a workout. For the past month or so CVS has had a sale on some of the more obscure Barcardi flavors. Big Apple and O to be specific. Big Apple is, of course, apple and O is Orange flavor. And this isn't just any sale. This is a sale that is completely absurd. Ludicrous. Insane actually. Seriously, for a 750ml bottle to be $3.67 is ri-goddamn-diculous, as John Wayne would say. If I had listened to Dat I would have stocked up on several bottles. As it stands I only picked up a couple bottles. A week.
The party's over though as I went this week and they were all out. It was still on sale though they just didn't have any more. But I did get some Captain Morgan's Coconut Rum for 9 bucks. But after $4 bottles of Bacardi it's just not quite the same. I figure they must be clearing out there old stock or something. But it was fun while it lasted...
Monday, May 05, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
25 Things that Killed (and are still killing) HIP HOP!
My old roommate SKB sent this to me yesterday. And damn if this wasn't on point. I don't know what blog she got this from (she didn't give credit to anyone) but I had to post it. But for the record, Hip Hop is not dead. If you don't believe me just listen to anything Scarface has done lately. He still spits nothing but straight up fire...
1. The End of the "Event" Album: There was a time when albums encompassed an era that included a look, a feel, and a style that informed an artist's videos and live performances for as long as they (or the label) could squeeze revenue from a project by releasing singles. The "event" album can chiefly be credited to Jacksons Michael and Janet, who have entire timelines built around the idea of a "Thriller Era" or a "Rhythm Nation Era". Nowadays, instead of treating albums as what they are (a collection of songs with one unifying theme) artists are more likely to seek out the most ubiquitous Hip Hop beatmakers of the moment and record over a hundred songs from which to "pick" singles. Also, when you have artists that are too scared to release music with a healthy 3-5 year gap in between, the lines to between albums begin to blur, and the eras become indistinguishable.
2. Big Name Hip Hop Producers: With respect due to the beatmakers that introduce a track with the name of their production imprint, ad-lib all over it, and insert themselves as guest rappers 50% of the time, they overshadow the actual vocalist of a song. We certainly don't begrudge any of them the right to employment, but when an artist has to do an inventory of who produced her project to qualifiy it instead of telling us what the album is about, we have to take exception. Reality check: If you're trying to goad me into a purchasing your album because you have a Pharrell beat on it and I'm a Pharrell fan, then that's the only song I'm buying. Your album has to have legs of its own.
3. Deaths of The Notorious B.I.G. & 2Pac: You can probably draw a direct line from the deaths of Biggie and 'Pac to the current state of Hip Hop. The two of them cultivated a style that even a decade later is re- and misappropriated to the nth. Perhaps if they were still alive, they'd have pushed the genre forward. Or maybe they'd be wack and irrelevant. Hey, at least they died while they were still good.
4. "Neo-Soul": We understand the emergence of the "neo-soul" genre as a response to the growing commercialization of modern R&B. But even the artists lumped into this category began to the see that the term was as much a marketing ploy as the very things they eschewed. The language used to describe these artists ranged from "organic" to "avant garde" and any press materials would claim that he/she looks up to Stevie, Marvin and Donnie. And don't stand too close to the stage lest you get burned by the candles and frankencense! Before long, the audience would be fooled and we would either grow to love or loathe this music, defending the art of its purveyors and loudly wondering why they couldn't move as many units as their mainstream counterparts. Simply put, "neo-soul" has become a term used by people to describe music they respect but would never buy.
5. Reality TV: Aside from the manufactured Pop idols that are struggling to stay signed within their prize contracts, we have to question the motives of Sean Combs, Robin Antin and Missy Elliott, who have all aped the reality television format to generate acts for their own stable of artists. To be sure, reality TV has replaced proper Artist Development as a means for these entrepreneurs to cash in, stroke their egos and embarrass people who, 9 times out of 10, deserve it. Speaking of which, what's O'so Krispie doing?
6. Lazy A&R Departments: Did you know that A&R people are also responsible for Artist Development? Probably not, since these days a newly-signed artist is more likely to be stripped of their identity and given one that falls in step with what's popular or, even worse, none at all. Take Cheri Dennis for example. While her album has a respectable amount of solid R&B tracks, we still don't know who Cheri Dennis is, what sets her apart from everyone else or even what she sounds like. But, she has earned the distinction of being signed to her label for nearly a decade with no album to speak of. Did the A&R department utilize that time by playing Spades? Probably.
7. Scarface and The Untouchables: Okay, rapper, we get it, Scarface and The Untouchables are the greatest movies ever made; your life in celluloid, even. But, if you look close enough, you'll come to learn that you are neither Pacino or De Niro and should stop emulating them by using audio clips from the films in your interludes and the script in your lyrics. Too many of you are still doing this after all these years. Also, tell members of your crew to stop calling themselves "Ness" and "Nitti". Just, please, cut it out.
8. Thugs: Not only do we have "Studio Thugs" that use de Palma films to inform their image (see above) but there's the "Corporate Thug" (robs an artist of his publishing and signs him to a hellified contract he could never fulfill) and the questionable "R&B Thug", which happened somewhere between R. Kelly and Jodeci and continues to this day. Along the way, labels got the bright idea that the way to a woman's heart was by selling drugs and beating up people. Sexy! This trend has also given rise to something else we'll never understand: "R&B Beef", in which two singers talk trash about each other to the media. Unfortunately, this doesn't result in a "sing-off" but pretty much makes everyone involved look kind of retarded.
9. Crime: Between violating probation, not paying child support, being pulled over and caught with an ounce of weed or cocaine, assaulting nail technicians, shooting people, tossing concertgoers off the stage, committing perjury, tax evasion, and urinating on minors, we have to wonder if being a good artist means being a bad citizen.
10. Ringtones: "Real Music Ringtones" were created as a way to distinguish your ringing cellular from someone else's while also bringing you closer to your favorite artist. Unfortunately, the labels realized this was the only way to generate revenue and started making music for the sole purpose of selling ringtones. Now, we have stripped-down keyboard beats and grunts and "yaahhs" instead of lyrics. Is that my cellphone ringing or yours? We'll never know, because we both downloaded Soulja Boy.
11. Lack of Music Programs in Schools: Programs like Garage Band have not only made producers lazy, but undercut the importance of immersing young would-be musicians in music history as well as basic composition. Unless a popular musician was trained in the church, they probably lucked into a contract without knowing how to write, play an instrument, or worse, sing a note.
12. BET (and by extension its corporate owner) is on a mission to not only destroy urban music, but poison the perception of Black people in the process. If we were to use this network as a guide (and people unfortunately do), we would believe that "drug dealer > rapper > pimp" is a logical career path, alcoholic beverages can be used as bodysplash, women of exotic or indeterminate race are the standard of beauty, darker-skinned women are only valuable if they have a big ass and a tiny waist, a person's worth can only be determined by what they drive and what they wear, you ain't sh*t if you're over 30, and a week's worth of debauchery and decadence can be undone with a Sunday marathon of religious programming. It's funny because it's true.
13. The Radio: Used to be, you would turn on the radio and hear a variety of artists with a variety of sounds. But due to the "Clear Channeling" of Urban Radio, you'll hear a T-Pain song followed by 15 minutes of commercials, followed by a song featuring T-Pain, some shucking and jiving by unbearable radio personalities for five minutes, then something that resembles a T-Pain song, but isn't because just about everyone sounds like T-Pain now. And it's probably a commercial.
14. Spineless Club DJs: If you're going out to a club, you might as well sit in the house and blast the radio instead of paying the inflated cover charge. Once upon a time, DJs were tastemakers, but now so many of them are afraid they'll clear the floor by spinning something new that they just play album versions of songs people are tired of but are too drunk to notice. Then, they add insult to injury by showing off their "skills" with poorly-timed scratches, blends that don't line up and screaming over the music. And consider yourself lucky if you happen upon a DJ with ACTUAL! VINYL! RECORDS!
15. Mainstream Hip Hop Publications: Back in the 90's, holding one of these rags in your hands was like holding a monthly Bible to all things Hip Hop and R&B. Now, they've all been relegated to chasing blogs and reiterating things we already knew weeks ahead instead of properly utilizing the print medium to do something unique. Changes in personnel and ownership aside, they were already marching towards irrelevance. Even the covers suck now, but you probably won't get the damn thing delivered on time in order to find out.
16. Bloggers: Guilty as charged! Trifle few of us are qualified to be writing about music with any authority, especially since most of the people behind blogs haven't been alive long enough to have a healthy perspective on the subject. Although it can be argued that record companies rely on blogs for buzz, most of the music championed by popular websites is the same music that would've gotten attention anyway. Also, we have to point out that the commenting system has turned discussions about music into an unholy war of "haters" versus "stans", where everyone is an expert on what they hate or love, but have no concept of anything else including real life. Oh, and providing your readers with the URL to full album leaks doesn't "help" the artist.
17. Youtube & Myspace: On the Internet, everyone is a star (thank you, thank you). But while sites like Myspace and Youtube can provide mainstream and indie musicians with a means of cultivating and connecting with an audience, it becomes a chore to sort through the muck of people with a webcam and a login classifying themselves as "artists". And damn you all to Hell for having the crap you made in Grandma's basement on auto-play.
18. Singing Rappers, Acting Rappers & Rapping Athletes: We'll keep this short. Every now and then you'll happen upon someone that has been able to organically transition from one career to another. Will and Latifah come to mind. To everyone else (coughCurtiscough), stay in your lane. Again, we don't begrudge anyone the chance to make some extra ends; it just shouldn't be at the expense of the audience.
19. The End of Real Singing Groups: Once upon a time, you not only had singing groups that weren't put together by a reality show, but wherein each member contributed a distinct voice or purpose to the group. Sometimes they had members that barely sang a note, but who actually produced or wrote the song. Point is, throwing a bunch of strangers in a house with one phone and giving them makeovers doesn't create synergy. Also, name a recent singing group that wasn't created for a television show or for the purpose of launching someone's solo career. Exactly.
20. "Kanyitis" is a temporary, yet frequent, illness that afflicts singers and rappers alike, wherein an artist waits until the precise moment they are in front of a camera, microphone or reporter to say something shocking and stupid, which will then be quoted by bloggers and searched on Youtube ad nauseum. Then the artist has to explain what they "really" meant, but by that time everyone already thinks they're nuts and doesn't care about a retraction.
21. Death of Aaliyah: Not that Aaliyah took an entire genre of music with her to the grave, but it can be argued that her passing made way for a wave of young, pretty dancers with okay voices and no personality. Only difference between them and Aaliyah is, Aaliyah had personality along with talent, ideas and a willingness to experiment. Also, she wasn't so full of herself.
22. Money: Even worse than artists releasing garbage because they know it sells is the audience's obsession with how much an artist makes. Unfortunately, we've given lack of artistry a pass because someone's "making that paper", which totally undermines the hard work of true creative talents that are constantly writing, recording, and performing. When I buy an album I don't want to hear an entrepreneur, which brings us to--
23. Products & Brands: Whether rappers and singers are inserting the names of designer alcoholic beverages into their lyrics or cable companies are inserting rappers and singers in their ad campaigns, things come to a point where we need to start realizing how owned these artists are. There's a thin line between businessperson and corporate slave. We'd also like to reiterate a fact that has been pointed out time and time again over the past 10 years: If you can't pronounce it, why should we care that you're wearing it, driving it, or drinking it?
24. People That Aren't in Any Way Associated with Music: Opportunities in the industry are built on connections and there's almost never been a time when someone didn't rise to stardom on someone else's coattails. But now, things have gotten way out of hand. Why be an actual artist when you can be someone that danced in videos, screwed a bunch of rappers and got a book deal? Or, you can be a butler or Executive In Charge of Umbrella-Carrying? Or, worse, be the "Fifth Mic" guy on stage and reliable instigator? Who needs a recording studio?
25. Teenagers: Young people have always had the power to determine trends in all genres of music, which is why corporations defer to them. However, today's teenagers seem to be slightly more insipid than they were in previous generations and definitely have a shorter attention span. Whether it's the teens themselves driving the garbage labels are releasing, or the labels that are leading teens down a path of ignorance, is totally up for debate. It's the chicken/egg question in its purest form.
1. The End of the "Event" Album: There was a time when albums encompassed an era that included a look, a feel, and a style that informed an artist's videos and live performances for as long as they (or the label) could squeeze revenue from a project by releasing singles. The "event" album can chiefly be credited to Jacksons Michael and Janet, who have entire timelines built around the idea of a "Thriller Era" or a "Rhythm Nation Era". Nowadays, instead of treating albums as what they are (a collection of songs with one unifying theme) artists are more likely to seek out the most ubiquitous Hip Hop beatmakers of the moment and record over a hundred songs from which to "pick" singles. Also, when you have artists that are too scared to release music with a healthy 3-5 year gap in between, the lines to between albums begin to blur, and the eras become indistinguishable.
2. Big Name Hip Hop Producers: With respect due to the beatmakers that introduce a track with the name of their production imprint, ad-lib all over it, and insert themselves as guest rappers 50% of the time, they overshadow the actual vocalist of a song. We certainly don't begrudge any of them the right to employment, but when an artist has to do an inventory of who produced her project to qualifiy it instead of telling us what the album is about, we have to take exception. Reality check: If you're trying to goad me into a purchasing your album because you have a Pharrell beat on it and I'm a Pharrell fan, then that's the only song I'm buying. Your album has to have legs of its own.
3. Deaths of The Notorious B.I.G. & 2Pac: You can probably draw a direct line from the deaths of Biggie and 'Pac to the current state of Hip Hop. The two of them cultivated a style that even a decade later is re- and misappropriated to the nth. Perhaps if they were still alive, they'd have pushed the genre forward. Or maybe they'd be wack and irrelevant. Hey, at least they died while they were still good.
4. "Neo-Soul": We understand the emergence of the "neo-soul" genre as a response to the growing commercialization of modern R&B. But even the artists lumped into this category began to the see that the term was as much a marketing ploy as the very things they eschewed. The language used to describe these artists ranged from "organic" to "avant garde" and any press materials would claim that he/she looks up to Stevie, Marvin and Donnie. And don't stand too close to the stage lest you get burned by the candles and frankencense! Before long, the audience would be fooled and we would either grow to love or loathe this music, defending the art of its purveyors and loudly wondering why they couldn't move as many units as their mainstream counterparts. Simply put, "neo-soul" has become a term used by people to describe music they respect but would never buy.
5. Reality TV: Aside from the manufactured Pop idols that are struggling to stay signed within their prize contracts, we have to question the motives of Sean Combs, Robin Antin and Missy Elliott, who have all aped the reality television format to generate acts for their own stable of artists. To be sure, reality TV has replaced proper Artist Development as a means for these entrepreneurs to cash in, stroke their egos and embarrass people who, 9 times out of 10, deserve it. Speaking of which, what's O'so Krispie doing?
6. Lazy A&R Departments: Did you know that A&R people are also responsible for Artist Development? Probably not, since these days a newly-signed artist is more likely to be stripped of their identity and given one that falls in step with what's popular or, even worse, none at all. Take Cheri Dennis for example. While her album has a respectable amount of solid R&B tracks, we still don't know who Cheri Dennis is, what sets her apart from everyone else or even what she sounds like. But, she has earned the distinction of being signed to her label for nearly a decade with no album to speak of. Did the A&R department utilize that time by playing Spades? Probably.
7. Scarface and The Untouchables: Okay, rapper, we get it, Scarface and The Untouchables are the greatest movies ever made; your life in celluloid, even. But, if you look close enough, you'll come to learn that you are neither Pacino or De Niro and should stop emulating them by using audio clips from the films in your interludes and the script in your lyrics. Too many of you are still doing this after all these years. Also, tell members of your crew to stop calling themselves "Ness" and "Nitti". Just, please, cut it out.
8. Thugs: Not only do we have "Studio Thugs" that use de Palma films to inform their image (see above) but there's the "Corporate Thug" (robs an artist of his publishing and signs him to a hellified contract he could never fulfill) and the questionable "R&B Thug", which happened somewhere between R. Kelly and Jodeci and continues to this day. Along the way, labels got the bright idea that the way to a woman's heart was by selling drugs and beating up people. Sexy! This trend has also given rise to something else we'll never understand: "R&B Beef", in which two singers talk trash about each other to the media. Unfortunately, this doesn't result in a "sing-off" but pretty much makes everyone involved look kind of retarded.
9. Crime: Between violating probation, not paying child support, being pulled over and caught with an ounce of weed or cocaine, assaulting nail technicians, shooting people, tossing concertgoers off the stage, committing perjury, tax evasion, and urinating on minors, we have to wonder if being a good artist means being a bad citizen.
10. Ringtones: "Real Music Ringtones" were created as a way to distinguish your ringing cellular from someone else's while also bringing you closer to your favorite artist. Unfortunately, the labels realized this was the only way to generate revenue and started making music for the sole purpose of selling ringtones. Now, we have stripped-down keyboard beats and grunts and "yaahhs" instead of lyrics. Is that my cellphone ringing or yours? We'll never know, because we both downloaded Soulja Boy.
11. Lack of Music Programs in Schools: Programs like Garage Band have not only made producers lazy, but undercut the importance of immersing young would-be musicians in music history as well as basic composition. Unless a popular musician was trained in the church, they probably lucked into a contract without knowing how to write, play an instrument, or worse, sing a note.
12. BET (and by extension its corporate owner) is on a mission to not only destroy urban music, but poison the perception of Black people in the process. If we were to use this network as a guide (and people unfortunately do), we would believe that "drug dealer > rapper > pimp" is a logical career path, alcoholic beverages can be used as bodysplash, women of exotic or indeterminate race are the standard of beauty, darker-skinned women are only valuable if they have a big ass and a tiny waist, a person's worth can only be determined by what they drive and what they wear, you ain't sh*t if you're over 30, and a week's worth of debauchery and decadence can be undone with a Sunday marathon of religious programming. It's funny because it's true.
13. The Radio: Used to be, you would turn on the radio and hear a variety of artists with a variety of sounds. But due to the "Clear Channeling" of Urban Radio, you'll hear a T-Pain song followed by 15 minutes of commercials, followed by a song featuring T-Pain, some shucking and jiving by unbearable radio personalities for five minutes, then something that resembles a T-Pain song, but isn't because just about everyone sounds like T-Pain now. And it's probably a commercial.
14. Spineless Club DJs: If you're going out to a club, you might as well sit in the house and blast the radio instead of paying the inflated cover charge. Once upon a time, DJs were tastemakers, but now so many of them are afraid they'll clear the floor by spinning something new that they just play album versions of songs people are tired of but are too drunk to notice. Then, they add insult to injury by showing off their "skills" with poorly-timed scratches, blends that don't line up and screaming over the music. And consider yourself lucky if you happen upon a DJ with ACTUAL! VINYL! RECORDS!
15. Mainstream Hip Hop Publications: Back in the 90's, holding one of these rags in your hands was like holding a monthly Bible to all things Hip Hop and R&B. Now, they've all been relegated to chasing blogs and reiterating things we already knew weeks ahead instead of properly utilizing the print medium to do something unique. Changes in personnel and ownership aside, they were already marching towards irrelevance. Even the covers suck now, but you probably won't get the damn thing delivered on time in order to find out.
16. Bloggers: Guilty as charged! Trifle few of us are qualified to be writing about music with any authority, especially since most of the people behind blogs haven't been alive long enough to have a healthy perspective on the subject. Although it can be argued that record companies rely on blogs for buzz, most of the music championed by popular websites is the same music that would've gotten attention anyway. Also, we have to point out that the commenting system has turned discussions about music into an unholy war of "haters" versus "stans", where everyone is an expert on what they hate or love, but have no concept of anything else including real life. Oh, and providing your readers with the URL to full album leaks doesn't "help" the artist.
17. Youtube & Myspace: On the Internet, everyone is a star (thank you, thank you). But while sites like Myspace and Youtube can provide mainstream and indie musicians with a means of cultivating and connecting with an audience, it becomes a chore to sort through the muck of people with a webcam and a login classifying themselves as "artists". And damn you all to Hell for having the crap you made in Grandma's basement on auto-play.
18. Singing Rappers, Acting Rappers & Rapping Athletes: We'll keep this short. Every now and then you'll happen upon someone that has been able to organically transition from one career to another. Will and Latifah come to mind. To everyone else (coughCurtiscough), stay in your lane. Again, we don't begrudge anyone the chance to make some extra ends; it just shouldn't be at the expense of the audience.
19. The End of Real Singing Groups: Once upon a time, you not only had singing groups that weren't put together by a reality show, but wherein each member contributed a distinct voice or purpose to the group. Sometimes they had members that barely sang a note, but who actually produced or wrote the song. Point is, throwing a bunch of strangers in a house with one phone and giving them makeovers doesn't create synergy. Also, name a recent singing group that wasn't created for a television show or for the purpose of launching someone's solo career. Exactly.
20. "Kanyitis" is a temporary, yet frequent, illness that afflicts singers and rappers alike, wherein an artist waits until the precise moment they are in front of a camera, microphone or reporter to say something shocking and stupid, which will then be quoted by bloggers and searched on Youtube ad nauseum. Then the artist has to explain what they "really" meant, but by that time everyone already thinks they're nuts and doesn't care about a retraction.
21. Death of Aaliyah: Not that Aaliyah took an entire genre of music with her to the grave, but it can be argued that her passing made way for a wave of young, pretty dancers with okay voices and no personality. Only difference between them and Aaliyah is, Aaliyah had personality along with talent, ideas and a willingness to experiment. Also, she wasn't so full of herself.
22. Money: Even worse than artists releasing garbage because they know it sells is the audience's obsession with how much an artist makes. Unfortunately, we've given lack of artistry a pass because someone's "making that paper", which totally undermines the hard work of true creative talents that are constantly writing, recording, and performing. When I buy an album I don't want to hear an entrepreneur, which brings us to--
23. Products & Brands: Whether rappers and singers are inserting the names of designer alcoholic beverages into their lyrics or cable companies are inserting rappers and singers in their ad campaigns, things come to a point where we need to start realizing how owned these artists are. There's a thin line between businessperson and corporate slave. We'd also like to reiterate a fact that has been pointed out time and time again over the past 10 years: If you can't pronounce it, why should we care that you're wearing it, driving it, or drinking it?
24. People That Aren't in Any Way Associated with Music: Opportunities in the industry are built on connections and there's almost never been a time when someone didn't rise to stardom on someone else's coattails. But now, things have gotten way out of hand. Why be an actual artist when you can be someone that danced in videos, screwed a bunch of rappers and got a book deal? Or, you can be a butler or Executive In Charge of Umbrella-Carrying? Or, worse, be the "Fifth Mic" guy on stage and reliable instigator? Who needs a recording studio?
25. Teenagers: Young people have always had the power to determine trends in all genres of music, which is why corporations defer to them. However, today's teenagers seem to be slightly more insipid than they were in previous generations and definitely have a shorter attention span. Whether it's the teens themselves driving the garbage labels are releasing, or the labels that are leading teens down a path of ignorance, is totally up for debate. It's the chicken/egg question in its purest form.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I use to think that I wasn't fine enough...
"I use to think that I wasn't fine enough..." - Love by Keyshia Cole
That's not exactly true. I still don't think I am particularly fine enough but that's a whole other conversation. Forget for a minute that it has been some months. Please do, because I expressed how this happens in A Theory of Time, so cut me so slack. Forget for a minute that I have been contemplating blogs for months now. Forget for a minute that last year I ran into Martin Landau at my ghetto ass post office picking up a package. Seriously, I gave him the head nod and everything. This is the surreal stuff that happens to me. So just for a minute, forget that it has been some months and bear with me...
So, almost a couple weeks ago I had a weird moment. I meant to blog about it but as you know some times time itself seems to slip by me. I was at a local Subway recently when I ran across this girl that seemed familiar to me. I don't know why exactly but there was something about her. Initially I thought it was because she reminded me of the chick that plays Jo from Eureka. However, after watching the latest episode of CSI: NY I realized that the Subway chick was a dead ringer for Detective Angel only shorter, latina and marginally thicker. If Detective Angel is 5'7" and a size 2 (I'm just guessing here folks) then subway chick was 5'3" and a size 4. But believe me when I tell you she looked just like her only with a bigger booty. It was weird cause I kept thinking, "why do I know this chick?" the whole time I was there. Truth is I didn't know her exactly she just looked like the CSI chick. Which is odd enough in an of itself.
Which brings me to the point of this post. So I walk in to Subway and I noticed its a little different. You walk all the way to the back to place your order then move to the front as they make your sandwich. Ok, no big deal. I move to take my place at the end of the line and notice that Detective Angel chick is in front of me. Short but curvy with a juicy little booty, hair down her back (more accurately probably just below her shoulders) and seemingly familiar. I'm waiting in line to place my order trying not to stare. I do notice her but I don't want to be obnoxious. She apparently ordered a foot long chicken and they were making it for her when one of the chicks that worked there finally asked me what I wanted. I was getting the chicken teriyaki so they got the bread and got the meat to put in the microwave when I noticed Detective Angel chick looked over at me and smiled. I gave her my usual "I noticed your smile smirk" look and tried not to stare. Because quite frankly, the chick that plays Detective Angel is fine as hell. And as this chick looked just like her (seriously she could have been her latin sister) I was trying not to sweat her. So after that first smile I started looking at the menu and literally a voice in my head told me not to try and talk to her. Seriously, even though I was completely attracted to this chick something was telling me to let it go. So then of course that's when it got kinda weird.
See as I was standing there next to her looking at the menu, listening to the voice in my head telling me not to actually talk to this chick, as I tried not to pay attention to her, is when they fucked up her order. So of course she looks at me like, "what the fuck." I gave her the half smirk and the "hey what can you do" shoulder shrug. She wanted salt & pepper but they gave her what ever was in some other shaker they had there. If I had to guess it was oregano. She explains this to them and then looks at me again as if she was looking for confirmation that she was right with a look that says, "unbelievable." So I give her a side eye shoulder shrug that says, "hey you know how it goes." Quite honestly since I had that voice telling me not to talk to her I didn't know what else to do. Keep in mind, I was standing there the whole time thinking she was fine as hell. Then I realize that the chick making her sandwich was not too good with english. So the chick making my sandwich started trying to fix Detective Angel chicks sandwich. She basically tells the subway chick that her sandwich looks disgusting and that she needs to start over. Subway chick users her plastic gloved hand to wipe all the toppings off of Detective Angels sandwich and again Angel looks at me like, "WTF." Again I give her her the smirk and the shoulder shrug like, "hey what can you do." She shakes her head and returns her attention to the subway chick making her sandwich. Now the original chick that was making her sandwich starts making mine. Even though she seems to have some issues with english she finishes my sandwich with no problems. Detective Angel gets her sandwich and pays for it before mine is finished and goes to sit down near the entrance. So of course I notice she sits with some guy and a little boy right by the entrance. My mind then tells me that is why it didn't want me to talk to her. So they finish my sandwich and I head out.
On the way I out, of course Detective Angel chick is sitting right by the door. Right across from little man and big man. So naturally as I am heading for the door she decides to get up, for what ever reason. As I have to pass her I look at her and she looks at me with the same awkward, "what the hell was that" look. I give her the raised eyebrow, "phew, glad that's over" look. And I leave without further incident.
Here is the thing. If I hadn't had that thought like I shouldn't try to talk to her I probably wouldn't have even given this much thought. But as it turns out I couldn't help but wonder what the hell that was about. Cause I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to flirting. If a chick doesn't make it painfully obvious then I don't usually even consider it as a viable possibility. But as I told Brooklyn about this after it happened, she seemed to think that maybe there might have been some mild flirtation going on there. If only because she kept looking at me for reassurance. As for me I was mostly oblivious and as I needed a hair cut I tried not to even give it much thought. But as I am writing this post you can see I did think about it. Mostly because I had the thought to not talk to her. Considering she was there with what was potentially her boyfriend/husband and son it is probably a good thing I didn't. I certainly don't need the rejection right now. Brooklyn has me convinced that it might not have been as bad as I thought. Considering my luck it seems appropriate that I would, run across a fine ass chick that I am attracted that would give me a second look, at the Subway while she was with her man and her son. That's just the kind of luck that I have. Before talking to Brook I was just thinking it might have been a weird awkward moment. I was going to post that to get the opinion of the Blogoverse. But now I wonder if maybe... just maybe all this working out I have been doing might be paying off. Just a little bit at least. I mean Detective Angel is fine as hell. And if her twin was even remotely looking at me as if might have been, kinda cute... well that would just make my month. But then again I am easy to please. That or I am a more lonely bastard than I care to admit. Either way I got smiled at by a fine as chick. And I can't be mad at that. Can I?
That's not exactly true. I still don't think I am particularly fine enough but that's a whole other conversation. Forget for a minute that it has been some months. Please do, because I expressed how this happens in A Theory of Time, so cut me so slack. Forget for a minute that I have been contemplating blogs for months now. Forget for a minute that last year I ran into Martin Landau at my ghetto ass post office picking up a package. Seriously, I gave him the head nod and everything. This is the surreal stuff that happens to me. So just for a minute, forget that it has been some months and bear with me...
So, almost a couple weeks ago I had a weird moment. I meant to blog about it but as you know some times time itself seems to slip by me. I was at a local Subway recently when I ran across this girl that seemed familiar to me. I don't know why exactly but there was something about her. Initially I thought it was because she reminded me of the chick that plays Jo from Eureka. However, after watching the latest episode of CSI: NY I realized that the Subway chick was a dead ringer for Detective Angel only shorter, latina and marginally thicker. If Detective Angel is 5'7" and a size 2 (I'm just guessing here folks) then subway chick was 5'3" and a size 4. But believe me when I tell you she looked just like her only with a bigger booty. It was weird cause I kept thinking, "why do I know this chick?" the whole time I was there. Truth is I didn't know her exactly she just looked like the CSI chick. Which is odd enough in an of itself.
Which brings me to the point of this post. So I walk in to Subway and I noticed its a little different. You walk all the way to the back to place your order then move to the front as they make your sandwich. Ok, no big deal. I move to take my place at the end of the line and notice that Detective Angel chick is in front of me. Short but curvy with a juicy little booty, hair down her back (more accurately probably just below her shoulders) and seemingly familiar. I'm waiting in line to place my order trying not to stare. I do notice her but I don't want to be obnoxious. She apparently ordered a foot long chicken and they were making it for her when one of the chicks that worked there finally asked me what I wanted. I was getting the chicken teriyaki so they got the bread and got the meat to put in the microwave when I noticed Detective Angel chick looked over at me and smiled. I gave her my usual "I noticed your smile smirk" look and tried not to stare. Because quite frankly, the chick that plays Detective Angel is fine as hell. And as this chick looked just like her (seriously she could have been her latin sister) I was trying not to sweat her. So after that first smile I started looking at the menu and literally a voice in my head told me not to try and talk to her. Seriously, even though I was completely attracted to this chick something was telling me to let it go. So then of course that's when it got kinda weird.
See as I was standing there next to her looking at the menu, listening to the voice in my head telling me not to actually talk to this chick, as I tried not to pay attention to her, is when they fucked up her order. So of course she looks at me like, "what the fuck." I gave her the half smirk and the "hey what can you do" shoulder shrug. She wanted salt & pepper but they gave her what ever was in some other shaker they had there. If I had to guess it was oregano. She explains this to them and then looks at me again as if she was looking for confirmation that she was right with a look that says, "unbelievable." So I give her a side eye shoulder shrug that says, "hey you know how it goes." Quite honestly since I had that voice telling me not to talk to her I didn't know what else to do. Keep in mind, I was standing there the whole time thinking she was fine as hell. Then I realize that the chick making her sandwich was not too good with english. So the chick making my sandwich started trying to fix Detective Angel chicks sandwich. She basically tells the subway chick that her sandwich looks disgusting and that she needs to start over. Subway chick users her plastic gloved hand to wipe all the toppings off of Detective Angels sandwich and again Angel looks at me like, "WTF." Again I give her her the smirk and the shoulder shrug like, "hey what can you do." She shakes her head and returns her attention to the subway chick making her sandwich. Now the original chick that was making her sandwich starts making mine. Even though she seems to have some issues with english she finishes my sandwich with no problems. Detective Angel gets her sandwich and pays for it before mine is finished and goes to sit down near the entrance. So of course I notice she sits with some guy and a little boy right by the entrance. My mind then tells me that is why it didn't want me to talk to her. So they finish my sandwich and I head out.
On the way I out, of course Detective Angel chick is sitting right by the door. Right across from little man and big man. So naturally as I am heading for the door she decides to get up, for what ever reason. As I have to pass her I look at her and she looks at me with the same awkward, "what the hell was that" look. I give her the raised eyebrow, "phew, glad that's over" look. And I leave without further incident.
Here is the thing. If I hadn't had that thought like I shouldn't try to talk to her I probably wouldn't have even given this much thought. But as it turns out I couldn't help but wonder what the hell that was about. Cause I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to flirting. If a chick doesn't make it painfully obvious then I don't usually even consider it as a viable possibility. But as I told Brooklyn about this after it happened, she seemed to think that maybe there might have been some mild flirtation going on there. If only because she kept looking at me for reassurance. As for me I was mostly oblivious and as I needed a hair cut I tried not to even give it much thought. But as I am writing this post you can see I did think about it. Mostly because I had the thought to not talk to her. Considering she was there with what was potentially her boyfriend/husband and son it is probably a good thing I didn't. I certainly don't need the rejection right now. Brooklyn has me convinced that it might not have been as bad as I thought. Considering my luck it seems appropriate that I would, run across a fine ass chick that I am attracted that would give me a second look, at the Subway while she was with her man and her son. That's just the kind of luck that I have. Before talking to Brook I was just thinking it might have been a weird awkward moment. I was going to post that to get the opinion of the Blogoverse. But now I wonder if maybe... just maybe all this working out I have been doing might be paying off. Just a little bit at least. I mean Detective Angel is fine as hell. And if her twin was even remotely looking at me as if might have been, kinda cute... well that would just make my month. But then again I am easy to please. That or I am a more lonely bastard than I care to admit. Either way I got smiled at by a fine as chick. And I can't be mad at that. Can I?
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