Monday my check engine light came on. After a morning of condo hunting and a trip for groceries I noticed the red glow beckoning my attention. Of course my first thought was "Holy shit I need to get home." Then I thought about the fact that I had a Toyota that has never had problems. Then I realized that after 5 years I was probably about due. So I made the appointment at the dealer for the next day (hey I'm under warranty), took their advice and checked the gas cap (of course screwed on extra tight) and even drove it over a friends house just in case it cleared itself up. Yeah, it didn't.
Up early on Tuesday and of course, the problem is not under warranty. Of course, I was there half the day. And of course, it was about $340 to fix. Merry Christmas. But I figure this must be what it is like being a grownup. Something wrong with your car you fix it. You don't wait for it to get worse. Back in my college days I might have driven until the car stopped running all together. The whole time sweating bullets, pissing my pants, and praying to God to please let me get to where ever I was going. But then I was poor. Like not always sure where the next meal was coming from poor. Deep in debt, bad credit poor. Now I'm good credit broke (still deep in debt I might add). And quite frankly, having already spent about 20 minutes on the 101 in the middle of the night changing a tire by the light of on coming traffic... well let's just say I have no desire to be stranded on the LA freeways. Ever. Day or night. So when presented with the prospect of decreased engine performance, failing a smog inspection, and further damage I sucked it up and paid the price. I suppose for piece of mind... it was a small price to pay.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
EXHIBIT C...
Well it took me a while to get my head together. But as promised here is another tale in the never ending Journey of the man, the myth, Cole Wynter, and his quest to thoroughly infuriate the women in his life.
For this one however, you'll need some back story. See I know this chick in LA that went to my colleges so called rival school in the District of Columbia. Maybe you have heard of it. Rumor has it DatFuule has some associates that are in their employ. I'll let you do the research. But, anyway, I met this chick because she has the exact same name as a chick I dated briefly in college. I found her back when hotmail was all the rage. I did a member search, found her, and sent her a note explaining I was looking for my friend. This girl responded and we have been in touch ever since. For about the better part of a decade. Which means over 5 years but less than 10.
The crazy part about that is how unusual her name is. Far be it for me to put her and myself on blast like that but let's go with a pseudonym for the sake of argument. Let's say the girl I dated in college was named something a little unusual like "Ayame Sivarsky." Let's go with A.S. for short. What are the odds of there being another one anywhere on the planet? Let alone another woman of color, around my age, that attended an HBCU around the time when me and the original A.S. attended school as well. Go figure.
(bear with here a minute I'm still in the setup phase of this one, need to establish a pattern of behavior here)
So, the long and the short of it we talked through e-mails for a while. Then I moved to LA from NoCal and we started chatting on IM and then in '03 we went out on a date. Great time. Dinner movie and lots of quality talk. Until the end. Because apparently by the end of the date I had deeply offended her. Completely by accident. See we were talking and she asked me about my preferences in women. Keep that word PREFERENCES in mind. That's a quote. As a preference I prefer the more petite athletic chicks. Tamia & Jada come to mind. That's a preference not an exclusive thing by any stretch. I might prefer steak and lobster from McCormick & Schmick's (I'll let you do the research) doesn't mean I won't eat McDonald's. And I made that clear as I have dated all sizes of women. And yes I told her this. Though apparently she had stopped listening after "petite & athletic" because I had all kinds of nerve to have such a preference being that I'm a big guy myself. Not super big. But not small. Thing Paul Wall but taller or better yet Ice Cube in Friday. I have since learned that my response should have been my preference is her. Or at least something to that effect. To the guys that maybe reading this let that be a lesson to you if ever you get caught in a similar situation.
Keep in mind dear reader I knew nothing of this until weeks later. As she expressed this to me in an IM after a few attempts were made to go out with her again. All of course were to no avail. So one day she flipped on me about it. Because, of course, I had a lot of nevre to be discriminating. If she had felt that way we might not have even gone out at all. Right. So, naturally, I had to remind her of the other parts of the conversation. Specifically that I have dated women of all shapes and sizes. And that a preference is just that. Something you would prefer given a choice and that doesn't exclude the 2nd, 3rd or 4th choices and so on... So after she thought about it she realized she was not particularly accurate in her assessment and we got passed it. Eventually. It took her a minute. Though admittedly I kept my distance after that. I was not prepared for the strength of her reality distortion field.
(a moment of clarification here, see she is a very attractive woman but not one I would call athletic, though that is how she refers to herself, she teaches aerobics or something and takes decent care of herself, but she is by no means petite no matter how good her self-esteem might be, at the moment someone of comparable size escapes me, she certainly isn't Mo'nique or anything but ain't none of the chick on Girlfriends either)
EXHIBIT C... (for real this time)
So flash forward to the summer of '06. That's right. Just about 3 years since the last time me and A.S. part 2 had our date and misunderstanding. I am back from my trek across the country. And, as I am known to do, I was lamenting the death of Bath & Body Works Seaspray. Best scent ever. Women loved it on me. But since it is gone I was contemplating something new. Found some stuff in some magazines and had a couple I was interested in. While chatting with A.S.2 about this she expressed and interest in helping me find my new scent. Read that as she invited herself shopping with me to do so. Ok, fine. Meet me at this mall, on this day, at this time and its on. Agreed.
Never are such things so simple. Even though the scheduled meeting was over a week away and she was sure she could come the plans changed at minute the last. She called me early in the day (before my wake up time) and asked me to call as she was up late and would be taking a nap. So I wake up, call her back and she still wants to go but under the condition I come get her. *sigh* Ok, fine. Imagine for a minute, all my ATLiens (or atleast those of you familiar with Atlanta), you lived in Buckhead and you were supposed to hang out with someone in Union City. You were going to meet in Midtown. Only now you have to pick them up. It's kinda like that. Particularly, since we had to pick a new place to go to. Basically, I said fuck it and picked her up and we went to some other trendy place in LA, spending most of the afternoon discovering my new cologne. Which is really good by the way. Made by a designer originally from Detroit of all places. I'll let you do the research. And no I didn't know this before hand. So everything appears to be going well.
Of course you know nothing is ever easy with me. So once that was done she wanted to pick up a few things for herself. Cool. Once she is done getting her knickknacks I ask her what she wants to do. Dat, stop me if you've heard this one... So, she in turn asked me what I want to do. It went something like this:
"So what do you want to do know?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. You Hungry?"
"Are you hungry?"
"Not really, I can take it or leave it. You?"
"I can take it or leave it too."
"You aren't hungry?"
"Nah."
"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you out here starving to death."
"Nah."
"Ok..."
"...K"
Fine. Done deal. We walk around the shopping center some more. Strolled through the food court area. Made our way back around, with one stop for her to use the rest room and we were back in the car on my way to drop her off. Did so with no problems. Walked her back to the door. Got a hug. We bothed expressed that it shouldn't be another 3 years before we see each other again and I was off. Cool.
Yeah... right...
So, I get home and after a little while I get on the computer. Naturally, she is on IM and we start to chat. Good to see you again, blah, blah, blah... I ask her what she was doing now and she makes it a point to tell me how she was putting away stuff after she was forced make her own damn eats when she got home. "Ha ha, very funny, if I didn't know better I would think you were serious and had an attitude." Yeah. You see were this is going... Cause she WAS serious. And she DID have an attitude. At this point she gives me the 3rd degree about why we didn't go to dinner. And how it would have been nice and because she was doing me a favor and the day would have lasted longer, yadda, yadda, yadda... Completely forgotting (and rather conviently, I might add) that she told me she wasn't hungry. No less than 3 times. At the time I literally recounted the conversation to her verbatim. And what does she tell me? That's not how she remembered it. Keep in mind folks that the convo above is very close to being actually quoted. I recounted this not only to her but several other people. I even saved my convo with DatFuule about it to be used as a reference (I was so disgusted I neglected to save the actually convo I had with A.S.2). But I digress... when I called her on how she did remember it she couldn't come up with any real specific details other than it was decided we wouldn't get dinner. Even after I went over the conversation several times with her, she was unable to fill in any details of it with "how she remembered it." So eventually she concided that it was a missunderstanding and that she was cool. Because, ultimately, after she had gotten home she wasn't sure why we hadn't gotten dinner. She just needed some clarity as it didn't make sense to her. Ever have one of those moments when you are convinced you slipped into the Twilight Zone? Yeah...
Needless to say we haven't gone out again. We talked about it for a minute after all this cause, let her tell it, she did enjoy seeing me again. And she does actually like me. But, for one, we have different schedules. And, for two, I left the ball in her court. Cool, you wanna hang out again, just let me know when you are free on a Sunday or Monday (my off days). We can go to lunch, dinner or hang out, just let me know. As of this blogging I am still waiting...
I told a female friend about this incident to get another perspective. She basically told me it was stupid because if she had been hungry she would have told me and then we could have ate. This chick is 24 lives in NoCal is considerably cooler/hotter and apparently still has the good sense God gave us all. I didn't tell her this but when she told me that I wished she was the one living in LA. Seriously, I'm getting too old for this shit... Seriously.
For this one however, you'll need some back story. See I know this chick in LA that went to my colleges so called rival school in the District of Columbia. Maybe you have heard of it. Rumor has it DatFuule has some associates that are in their employ. I'll let you do the research. But, anyway, I met this chick because she has the exact same name as a chick I dated briefly in college. I found her back when hotmail was all the rage. I did a member search, found her, and sent her a note explaining I was looking for my friend. This girl responded and we have been in touch ever since. For about the better part of a decade. Which means over 5 years but less than 10.
The crazy part about that is how unusual her name is. Far be it for me to put her and myself on blast like that but let's go with a pseudonym for the sake of argument. Let's say the girl I dated in college was named something a little unusual like "Ayame Sivarsky." Let's go with A.S. for short. What are the odds of there being another one anywhere on the planet? Let alone another woman of color, around my age, that attended an HBCU around the time when me and the original A.S. attended school as well. Go figure.
(bear with here a minute I'm still in the setup phase of this one, need to establish a pattern of behavior here)
So, the long and the short of it we talked through e-mails for a while. Then I moved to LA from NoCal and we started chatting on IM and then in '03 we went out on a date. Great time. Dinner movie and lots of quality talk. Until the end. Because apparently by the end of the date I had deeply offended her. Completely by accident. See we were talking and she asked me about my preferences in women. Keep that word PREFERENCES in mind. That's a quote. As a preference I prefer the more petite athletic chicks. Tamia & Jada come to mind. That's a preference not an exclusive thing by any stretch. I might prefer steak and lobster from McCormick & Schmick's (I'll let you do the research) doesn't mean I won't eat McDonald's. And I made that clear as I have dated all sizes of women. And yes I told her this. Though apparently she had stopped listening after "petite & athletic" because I had all kinds of nerve to have such a preference being that I'm a big guy myself. Not super big. But not small. Thing Paul Wall but taller or better yet Ice Cube in Friday. I have since learned that my response should have been my preference is her. Or at least something to that effect. To the guys that maybe reading this let that be a lesson to you if ever you get caught in a similar situation.
Keep in mind dear reader I knew nothing of this until weeks later. As she expressed this to me in an IM after a few attempts were made to go out with her again. All of course were to no avail. So one day she flipped on me about it. Because, of course, I had a lot of nevre to be discriminating. If she had felt that way we might not have even gone out at all. Right. So, naturally, I had to remind her of the other parts of the conversation. Specifically that I have dated women of all shapes and sizes. And that a preference is just that. Something you would prefer given a choice and that doesn't exclude the 2nd, 3rd or 4th choices and so on... So after she thought about it she realized she was not particularly accurate in her assessment and we got passed it. Eventually. It took her a minute. Though admittedly I kept my distance after that. I was not prepared for the strength of her reality distortion field.
(a moment of clarification here, see she is a very attractive woman but not one I would call athletic, though that is how she refers to herself, she teaches aerobics or something and takes decent care of herself, but she is by no means petite no matter how good her self-esteem might be, at the moment someone of comparable size escapes me, she certainly isn't Mo'nique or anything but ain't none of the chick on Girlfriends either)
EXHIBIT C... (for real this time)
So flash forward to the summer of '06. That's right. Just about 3 years since the last time me and A.S. part 2 had our date and misunderstanding. I am back from my trek across the country. And, as I am known to do, I was lamenting the death of Bath & Body Works Seaspray. Best scent ever. Women loved it on me. But since it is gone I was contemplating something new. Found some stuff in some magazines and had a couple I was interested in. While chatting with A.S.2 about this she expressed and interest in helping me find my new scent. Read that as she invited herself shopping with me to do so. Ok, fine. Meet me at this mall, on this day, at this time and its on. Agreed.
Never are such things so simple. Even though the scheduled meeting was over a week away and she was sure she could come the plans changed at minute the last. She called me early in the day (before my wake up time) and asked me to call as she was up late and would be taking a nap. So I wake up, call her back and she still wants to go but under the condition I come get her. *sigh* Ok, fine. Imagine for a minute, all my ATLiens (or atleast those of you familiar with Atlanta), you lived in Buckhead and you were supposed to hang out with someone in Union City. You were going to meet in Midtown. Only now you have to pick them up. It's kinda like that. Particularly, since we had to pick a new place to go to. Basically, I said fuck it and picked her up and we went to some other trendy place in LA, spending most of the afternoon discovering my new cologne. Which is really good by the way. Made by a designer originally from Detroit of all places. I'll let you do the research. And no I didn't know this before hand. So everything appears to be going well.
Of course you know nothing is ever easy with me. So once that was done she wanted to pick up a few things for herself. Cool. Once she is done getting her knickknacks I ask her what she wants to do. Dat, stop me if you've heard this one... So, she in turn asked me what I want to do. It went something like this:
"So what do you want to do know?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. You Hungry?"
"Are you hungry?"
"Not really, I can take it or leave it. You?"
"I can take it or leave it too."
"You aren't hungry?"
"Nah."
"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you out here starving to death."
"Nah."
"Ok..."
"...K"
Fine. Done deal. We walk around the shopping center some more. Strolled through the food court area. Made our way back around, with one stop for her to use the rest room and we were back in the car on my way to drop her off. Did so with no problems. Walked her back to the door. Got a hug. We bothed expressed that it shouldn't be another 3 years before we see each other again and I was off. Cool.
Yeah... right...
So, I get home and after a little while I get on the computer. Naturally, she is on IM and we start to chat. Good to see you again, blah, blah, blah... I ask her what she was doing now and she makes it a point to tell me how she was putting away stuff after she was forced make her own damn eats when she got home. "Ha ha, very funny, if I didn't know better I would think you were serious and had an attitude." Yeah. You see were this is going... Cause she WAS serious. And she DID have an attitude. At this point she gives me the 3rd degree about why we didn't go to dinner. And how it would have been nice and because she was doing me a favor and the day would have lasted longer, yadda, yadda, yadda... Completely forgotting (and rather conviently, I might add) that she told me she wasn't hungry. No less than 3 times. At the time I literally recounted the conversation to her verbatim. And what does she tell me? That's not how she remembered it. Keep in mind folks that the convo above is very close to being actually quoted. I recounted this not only to her but several other people. I even saved my convo with DatFuule about it to be used as a reference (I was so disgusted I neglected to save the actually convo I had with A.S.2). But I digress... when I called her on how she did remember it she couldn't come up with any real specific details other than it was decided we wouldn't get dinner. Even after I went over the conversation several times with her, she was unable to fill in any details of it with "how she remembered it." So eventually she concided that it was a missunderstanding and that she was cool. Because, ultimately, after she had gotten home she wasn't sure why we hadn't gotten dinner. She just needed some clarity as it didn't make sense to her. Ever have one of those moments when you are convinced you slipped into the Twilight Zone? Yeah...
Needless to say we haven't gone out again. We talked about it for a minute after all this cause, let her tell it, she did enjoy seeing me again. And she does actually like me. But, for one, we have different schedules. And, for two, I left the ball in her court. Cool, you wanna hang out again, just let me know when you are free on a Sunday or Monday (my off days). We can go to lunch, dinner or hang out, just let me know. As of this blogging I am still waiting...
I told a female friend about this incident to get another perspective. She basically told me it was stupid because if she had been hungry she would have told me and then we could have ate. This chick is 24 lives in NoCal is considerably cooler/hotter and apparently still has the good sense God gave us all. I didn't tell her this but when she told me that I wished she was the one living in LA. Seriously, I'm getting too old for this shit... Seriously.
Monday, September 25, 2006
My Special Gift...
Or maybe it's my curse. But I have recently had an epiphany about a very special ability I have. A latent mutant power if you will. The ability to make women go from zero to bitch in under 3 seconds. If I am not mistaken that's better than Ferrari, Lamborghini & Porsche. This is, of course, without so much as even making the attempt to do so, through absolutely no forethought of my own. To quote Richard B Riddick, "how interesting."
I know I promised to talk about crazy LA women, but bear with me. There is an LA chick in this story.
EXHIBIT A
Recently, Brooklyn recommended a book to me. Now, keep in mind, this was several days ago. And when she told me about it I told her that I was adding it to my Amazon wishlist. This, I assumed, would give the impression that it would be ordered at some later date. Or so I thought. Flash forward to today and I awake to find a missed call from her. I call her back and her first question to me is if I bought the book yet. Um, no. And at this point she is not very happy because I had almost a week to buy this brilliant piece of work. The rest of the conversation didn't last long. It ended with her smacking her lips on what ever she was eating and telling me she would call me back when she was done. Now she and I are old friends so I know her tones and inflections. And, more importantly, I know how she is with me. She was not happy. We have since worked out this disagreement. And yes I have purchased the book (for about $8 and some change). Which should go a long way to maintaining harmony in our relationship.
EXHIBIT B
This needs needs some back story. Several months ago my accountant tried to hook me up with this chick he knows. An older asian chick that likes black men and lives in Gardena. As I live in the Valley this has not be conducive to the actual hooking up part. For my folks familiar with the ATL that's like me living in Alpharetta and her living in College Park. Between that and the fact that she isn't particularly interested in guys younger than her (she is 40 and I am 33) our exploits have been confined to the occasional phone conversation and an e-mail every once and a while.
We were supposed to meet up for lunch or dinner or something this afternoon. We talked about this last week. As she would be on vacation from her 2nd job and Monday is my off day we agreed this would be as good a time as any. My job was to pick a place for us to meet. Initially it was to be between the Valley and her place but as time went on it went from that to where ever I wanted to meet at. Even Burbank. Cool. All I had to do was e-mail her the place and she would get directions and go. So, I chose a spot in Burbank and e-mailed her the info. Only to have her e-mail me back her concerns about taking the 5. She wanted me to call her last night after her favorite show (Desperate Housewives, yeah, like you didn't see that coming) so we could talk about it. I forgot. Sue me. My boy VCD came over and having not seen him for weeks we had some brews, kicked it and watched the Venture Bros (one of the funniest shows on TV by the way if you ever get a chance to catch it on Adult Swim). By the time I realized, it was too late to call so I pretty much fucked around and decided something was better than nothing. At around 2am I e-mailed her just that. Told her it was too late to call and that anywhere we went in the afternoon there would probably be traffic. I mean come on people this is LA. And she did tell me she would meet me anywhere.
And so we come to this morning. In addition to Brooklyn's missed call I have an e-mail from this chick as well. Stating that she isn't sure she wants to go know since I didn't call. Ok, at this point I assume she is pissed. And then I see that she called me at some point this morning too. I'm not sure when as I have purged my call data on my phone (I do this from time to time). But suffice it to say the extent of her message was "call me." Of course, I hesitate as I know where this is going. The convo started off well enough and throughout I was calm and rational. But she was pissed because I hadn't call. Period. She didn't care about the reason. She didn't care that she could have called me to remind me. She didn't care that I might not have gotten the e-mail until it was to late. Nothing. I didn't call. She should not have had to call and remind me (or just called after her show was over, I don't fuckin' watch it so how should I know when it's done). Natrually, me being me, I expressed to her that this was drama. And her response was to question whether I could handle it. That, of course, is not the point. It's whether I want to or not. And I said as much. From there I wanted to know what she wanted to do and her response to me was that she didn't think she wanted to go because I had an attitude. Um, yeah. If I didn't before, I do know. Keep in mind I pointed out to her that she was the one that was mad at me. I wasn't mad her and not only that I didn't have an attitude about the situation. So naturally we didn't go. Though she did thank me for calling her back. Now this is a 40 year old woman people. And she had the nerve to ask me again at the being of the conversation how old I was (I say again because she has asked me this before). As if I was somehow being immature (at least in retrospect that is how I took it, it was a very out of the blue question that came from and went nowhere). I wasn't mad. I wasn't even upset. I didn't come at her crazy. I just explained myself and she didn't care. And I'm the one with the attitude? You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me?
And that ladies and gentlemen is the amazing talent God has seen fit to bless me with. Pissing off woman. I know this to be true because I don't have any conflict with my male friends. If only I could get paid off this shit. All it's doing for me know is leaving me dateless. But you know what? As long as I'm drama free, I don't even care...
I know I promised to talk about crazy LA women, but bear with me. There is an LA chick in this story.
EXHIBIT A
Recently, Brooklyn recommended a book to me. Now, keep in mind, this was several days ago. And when she told me about it I told her that I was adding it to my Amazon wishlist. This, I assumed, would give the impression that it would be ordered at some later date. Or so I thought. Flash forward to today and I awake to find a missed call from her. I call her back and her first question to me is if I bought the book yet. Um, no. And at this point she is not very happy because I had almost a week to buy this brilliant piece of work. The rest of the conversation didn't last long. It ended with her smacking her lips on what ever she was eating and telling me she would call me back when she was done. Now she and I are old friends so I know her tones and inflections. And, more importantly, I know how she is with me. She was not happy. We have since worked out this disagreement. And yes I have purchased the book (for about $8 and some change). Which should go a long way to maintaining harmony in our relationship.
EXHIBIT B
This needs needs some back story. Several months ago my accountant tried to hook me up with this chick he knows. An older asian chick that likes black men and lives in Gardena. As I live in the Valley this has not be conducive to the actual hooking up part. For my folks familiar with the ATL that's like me living in Alpharetta and her living in College Park. Between that and the fact that she isn't particularly interested in guys younger than her (she is 40 and I am 33) our exploits have been confined to the occasional phone conversation and an e-mail every once and a while.
We were supposed to meet up for lunch or dinner or something this afternoon. We talked about this last week. As she would be on vacation from her 2nd job and Monday is my off day we agreed this would be as good a time as any. My job was to pick a place for us to meet. Initially it was to be between the Valley and her place but as time went on it went from that to where ever I wanted to meet at. Even Burbank. Cool. All I had to do was e-mail her the place and she would get directions and go. So, I chose a spot in Burbank and e-mailed her the info. Only to have her e-mail me back her concerns about taking the 5. She wanted me to call her last night after her favorite show (Desperate Housewives, yeah, like you didn't see that coming) so we could talk about it. I forgot. Sue me. My boy VCD came over and having not seen him for weeks we had some brews, kicked it and watched the Venture Bros (one of the funniest shows on TV by the way if you ever get a chance to catch it on Adult Swim). By the time I realized, it was too late to call so I pretty much fucked around and decided something was better than nothing. At around 2am I e-mailed her just that. Told her it was too late to call and that anywhere we went in the afternoon there would probably be traffic. I mean come on people this is LA. And she did tell me she would meet me anywhere.
And so we come to this morning. In addition to Brooklyn's missed call I have an e-mail from this chick as well. Stating that she isn't sure she wants to go know since I didn't call. Ok, at this point I assume she is pissed. And then I see that she called me at some point this morning too. I'm not sure when as I have purged my call data on my phone (I do this from time to time). But suffice it to say the extent of her message was "call me." Of course, I hesitate as I know where this is going. The convo started off well enough and throughout I was calm and rational. But she was pissed because I hadn't call. Period. She didn't care about the reason. She didn't care that she could have called me to remind me. She didn't care that I might not have gotten the e-mail until it was to late. Nothing. I didn't call. She should not have had to call and remind me (or just called after her show was over, I don't fuckin' watch it so how should I know when it's done). Natrually, me being me, I expressed to her that this was drama. And her response was to question whether I could handle it. That, of course, is not the point. It's whether I want to or not. And I said as much. From there I wanted to know what she wanted to do and her response to me was that she didn't think she wanted to go because I had an attitude. Um, yeah. If I didn't before, I do know. Keep in mind I pointed out to her that she was the one that was mad at me. I wasn't mad her and not only that I didn't have an attitude about the situation. So naturally we didn't go. Though she did thank me for calling her back. Now this is a 40 year old woman people. And she had the nerve to ask me again at the being of the conversation how old I was (I say again because she has asked me this before). As if I was somehow being immature (at least in retrospect that is how I took it, it was a very out of the blue question that came from and went nowhere). I wasn't mad. I wasn't even upset. I didn't come at her crazy. I just explained myself and she didn't care. And I'm the one with the attitude? You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me?
And that ladies and gentlemen is the amazing talent God has seen fit to bless me with. Pissing off woman. I know this to be true because I don't have any conflict with my male friends. If only I could get paid off this shit. All it's doing for me know is leaving me dateless. But you know what? As long as I'm drama free, I don't even care...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Speaking of LA... again
I've been meaning to tell y'all about this, but y'all know how I get...
So after my roadtrip I decide that I need to take some clothes to the cleaners. Since I had been living out of a suitcase for 2 weeks it seemed only right. Considering the number of button up shirts I brought that hadn't seen an iron in a while, not to mention my suit, I figured I'd shell out the loot and just get it done. So the day after I arrived I got up early, ok not really, but I did leave early. Though for me that was about 11am. Rarely, do I ever get to that place before 2pm (that place being my favorite cleaners). Especially on a Sunday. But I got up and got it done. No big deal.
Now to the point of the story. On my way home I take the scenic route. Getting off the freeway several miles from my home in order to take the main drag of my communal suburb of LA proper (which for the record still counts as the City of Los Angeles, one giant suburban town I tells ya). If you live in the NoHo area I'll give you one guess as to the name of the street. Here's a guess. It starts with an 'L'. So I'm cruisin' enjoying this bright summer morning in So Cal until I notice one of the more unusual sites I have ever seen in California. On the opposite side of the street is a guy of possibly Mexican decent. He was tan, shirtless, relatively buff, with what appears to be either a weight belt or back brace around his waist. He is riding a mountain bike with no hands, as they are in front of him, one holding the other as though he were giving a speech. He had on a fresh pair of stone khaki's, crisp white gym shoes (maybe K-swiss) with dark black sunglasses and a baseball cap that, if memory serves, matched his pants pulled down on his head. Yeah, the bill He appeared to be staring straight ahead as he rode. Keep in mind I notice this guy several seconds before we passed each other. Mostly because I was wondering why he didn't have a shirt on (it wasn't that hot that day) and then it looked like he was wearing khaki's. And that weird ass weight belt. He could have been in a Gap ad, or more accurately Abercrombie & Fitch. So I noted this interesting site as I drove and would have paid it no mind if not for what happened next. As we were about to pass each other, me in my car, he on the other side of the street on his bike, he appeared to turn his head in my direction and threw up a gang sign. Arms arced on either side of him with has hands contorted into some shape I couldn't describe then and certainly won't try now. How interesting. He didn't appear to have any noticeable tattoos and I can't be certain he was looking at me. But he wasn't menacing about it. It was almost like he was saying "wassup" to a homie. Whether that was me or someone else... who knows. But that definitely was some surreal shit. Had this happened in anywhere else I might have been surprised. But I live in LA. Homeless people have conversations with trash cans outside my office downtown. And besides, I'm from Detroit...
In other uneventfulness in LA a couple weeks ago I an older black man in Bentley gave me the ice grill as I was leaving the Burger King down the street from work. It was a Saturday night and I was picking up some eats for when I got home. I looped around the parking lot and noted how slick this ride was as I was passing it. It had the look of a car that you wanted to be careful around. As I passed the passenger I noticed it was a brotha. Possibly in his mid to late 50's. A big guy. Could have been a former football player or something. But he was definitely pimpin' the whip as though he was in his 20's. Left hand on the wheel leaning to the side with his right hand holding a cell to his ear. And he had a really nice suit on. Now that I think about it in the night light it almost matched the silvery color of the car. Of course I got the cold leery stare as I passed by. Almost like he was saying, "Wassup, nigga." And not in a good way. Since I have been told I look like that naturally I took no offense and paid it no mind. Actually I was just happy to see a brotha pushing a ride like that. More power too him. It almost gave me hope that I could have one one day. Not sure why exactly. I don't know that guy from Adam.
Next time, on A Life More Ordinary: Crazy LA women & the men that try to avoid them... namely me.
So after my roadtrip I decide that I need to take some clothes to the cleaners. Since I had been living out of a suitcase for 2 weeks it seemed only right. Considering the number of button up shirts I brought that hadn't seen an iron in a while, not to mention my suit, I figured I'd shell out the loot and just get it done. So the day after I arrived I got up early, ok not really, but I did leave early. Though for me that was about 11am. Rarely, do I ever get to that place before 2pm (that place being my favorite cleaners). Especially on a Sunday. But I got up and got it done. No big deal.
Now to the point of the story. On my way home I take the scenic route. Getting off the freeway several miles from my home in order to take the main drag of my communal suburb of LA proper (which for the record still counts as the City of Los Angeles, one giant suburban town I tells ya). If you live in the NoHo area I'll give you one guess as to the name of the street. Here's a guess. It starts with an 'L'. So I'm cruisin' enjoying this bright summer morning in So Cal until I notice one of the more unusual sites I have ever seen in California. On the opposite side of the street is a guy of possibly Mexican decent. He was tan, shirtless, relatively buff, with what appears to be either a weight belt or back brace around his waist. He is riding a mountain bike with no hands, as they are in front of him, one holding the other as though he were giving a speech. He had on a fresh pair of stone khaki's, crisp white gym shoes (maybe K-swiss) with dark black sunglasses and a baseball cap that, if memory serves, matched his pants pulled down on his head. Yeah, the bill He appeared to be staring straight ahead as he rode. Keep in mind I notice this guy several seconds before we passed each other. Mostly because I was wondering why he didn't have a shirt on (it wasn't that hot that day) and then it looked like he was wearing khaki's. And that weird ass weight belt. He could have been in a Gap ad, or more accurately Abercrombie & Fitch. So I noted this interesting site as I drove and would have paid it no mind if not for what happened next. As we were about to pass each other, me in my car, he on the other side of the street on his bike, he appeared to turn his head in my direction and threw up a gang sign. Arms arced on either side of him with has hands contorted into some shape I couldn't describe then and certainly won't try now. How interesting. He didn't appear to have any noticeable tattoos and I can't be certain he was looking at me. But he wasn't menacing about it. It was almost like he was saying "wassup" to a homie. Whether that was me or someone else... who knows. But that definitely was some surreal shit. Had this happened in anywhere else I might have been surprised. But I live in LA. Homeless people have conversations with trash cans outside my office downtown. And besides, I'm from Detroit...
In other uneventfulness in LA a couple weeks ago I an older black man in Bentley gave me the ice grill as I was leaving the Burger King down the street from work. It was a Saturday night and I was picking up some eats for when I got home. I looped around the parking lot and noted how slick this ride was as I was passing it. It had the look of a car that you wanted to be careful around. As I passed the passenger I noticed it was a brotha. Possibly in his mid to late 50's. A big guy. Could have been a former football player or something. But he was definitely pimpin' the whip as though he was in his 20's. Left hand on the wheel leaning to the side with his right hand holding a cell to his ear. And he had a really nice suit on. Now that I think about it in the night light it almost matched the silvery color of the car. Of course I got the cold leery stare as I passed by. Almost like he was saying, "Wassup, nigga." And not in a good way. Since I have been told I look like that naturally I took no offense and paid it no mind. Actually I was just happy to see a brotha pushing a ride like that. More power too him. It almost gave me hope that I could have one one day. Not sure why exactly. I don't know that guy from Adam.
Next time, on A Life More Ordinary: Crazy LA women & the men that try to avoid them... namely me.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
You Tube is the shit...
Fuck what you heard. I just spent the last hour reminiscing with You Tube. Why, you might ask? Because for what ever reason people have decided to upload a helluva lot of old school music videos. I've managed to get several of the early Cash Money Classics (early stuff from BG & Juvenile), some classic Mobb Deep (Quiet Storm and the version with lil Kim), and Rayvon's Pretty. That lost one was some obscure shit. While they don't have everything (I still can't find that Damn Haggen-Daj song by the Inviseez, but I did find the single on eBay). I'm sure if Rain takes a minute he will remember that most classic of videos by Reggae artist Rayvon. Back when we were roommates, I'm sure me, him and our other roomie CAR watched that video every time some video show played it. For various reasons. Hey, it is a catchy song too, ok. But just the fact that You Tube had it is blowing my mind. I've been able to find several more recent videos but there is a lot of random obscure stuff on there. If you have Firefox you can use the video downloader plug-in to download them too. And because I have a Mac I can use iSquint to convert the video to a iPod compatible format (or at least an Mpeg format) and put it into iTunes. For that hard to find stuff you can't get from iTunes (or, um, other sources) this is a good solution. Especially, when you want some of those old videos nobody ever plays anymore. Hell, as I type this I found the videos for the Flavor in your Ear remix, The DOC's funky enough and the formula. Hip Hop used to be great...
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Speaking of walking in LA...
As if any of this will ever happen...
Curbed LA: How to Make Walking Better in LA
Curbed LA: How to Make Walking Better in LA
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Something Good From Detroit... Finally
See, I don't hate Detroit. Every now and then something good does happen there. Sometimes...
Rewards swell to $4,000 for homeless man - 07/25/06 - The Detroit News Online
Rewards swell to $4,000 for homeless man - 07/25/06 - The Detroit News Online
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Why I Hate LA
Warren Ellis has done it again. In an interview about his comic Desolation Jones, which is set in LA, he has managed to describe why I loathe the city in which I now call home. Or rather the place that I now find myself living (when I first typed that out it said "...the place that I now leave." I only caught it because I went back and reread this post to check for errors, If that is not a Freudian Slip I don't know what is). How anyone can call this place home is beyond me. Fuck that nice weather shit. At least in Atlanta the sky is blue and you can see the seasons change...
"...I hate the place. Which I'm sure comes as no surprise. I hate cities I can't walk around. When I try walking in West Hollywood people in their cars slow down and stare at me. I don't think this is entirely down to my shocking personal beauty. Have you ever tried walking in Burbank? Have you ever tried finding somewhere in Burbank to walk to? Walking down Sunset is an exercise in existential horror. Santa Monica's only walkable if death is no hurdle. The air's the wrong colour. People put sunglasses on their dogs. It's a hideous place where humans are not welcome and those who stay suffer eight kinds of brain damage."
"...I don't think of LA as an honest geographical space, a place where people stay, a place where traditional cities happen. As a native said to me on the first day I ever spent there, LA isn't a city -- it's a handful of towns strung together by a thousand miles of freeway. The biggest constructions in the area are not designed to be lived in, but to be traversed. It's a place that became designed for machines, not humans, at some point."
"...I hate the place. Which I'm sure comes as no surprise. I hate cities I can't walk around. When I try walking in West Hollywood people in their cars slow down and stare at me. I don't think this is entirely down to my shocking personal beauty. Have you ever tried walking in Burbank? Have you ever tried finding somewhere in Burbank to walk to? Walking down Sunset is an exercise in existential horror. Santa Monica's only walkable if death is no hurdle. The air's the wrong colour. People put sunglasses on their dogs. It's a hideous place where humans are not welcome and those who stay suffer eight kinds of brain damage."
Nuff said...
R.I.P. Grandma Wynter
It's been a while y'all but I been going through some thangs. My Grandmother passed almost a month ago. Just before the 4th. And in a fit of frustrated confusion I decided to drive from LA to Detroit to be with the family. Yeah, I know, not the smarted decision but I had a few things in my favor. I had just had the maintenance done on my car. Everything that needed fixing got fixed. And I have 4 new tires. So I was good. All I dreaded was the long hours on the road. Which wasn't so bad after all.
See it happened on a Thursday. Earliest flights out were on a Saturday. Cheapest I could find was $695. And they all would have put me in the D on Sunday. So, that Friday I gassed up the ride and hit the road at noon. Sunday at 5pm PDT I was at my home in Detroit. Not to shabby. I have astounded most of my friends and family by making the journey so quickly. By driving I was able to maintain a sense of freedom cause I could go where I wanted when I wanted.
Thankfully my boss was understanding and told me to take a few weeks. Come back when I was ready and let him know if I needed more time. While it was a sad time it was good to see the friends and the fam again. And thankfully there was nothing crazy going on back home which made it all that much better.
During my time off I took some time to drive to the ATL. I needed to reconnect with some of the folks down there. And I even got to see Savannah. Thanks to Brooklyn for being a good sport about the impromptu road trip. I really didn't see that car that almost sideswiped us and I really thought I cleared the corner when we hit the curb. Seriously, you need to have your steering tightened or something.
I'd like to say that I hate Nebraska. Flat land with some grass, a couple trees and a cow or two. But more than that while driving through Omaha I got pulled over. True enough it was the most polite and the fastest pull over I have ever experienced but still. In all 5400+ miles of my trip I get stopped for have a air freshener and a rosary hanging from my rearview. Seriously, cause it could be distracting if an animal runs out into the road. Or some nonsense. But I got a warning (having removed the items before the cop could finish his statement as to why this was wrong) and was sent on my way. It was night time so I don't even know how he saw that since he didn't hit me with the searchlight.
Also a big fuck you to Iowa for having the most roadkill lying in the middle of the road of any state I drove through. Plenty of states have road kill. Iowa apparently just leaves it in the middle of the road. I hit a dead dog and some huge animal I have no idea what it was that was a giant skidmark/speedbump slicked across the fast lane into the slow lane. Thankfully I was in the slow lane. It could have gotten ugly. Not to mention Des Moines was hosting the Special Olympics, The Good Guys car show, and a little league tournament. Which means I had to drive almost 70 miles outside the city to find a room for the night. Causing me to drive an extra 2 hours after I should have stopped in my vain attempts to find a hotel with a vacancy. Thanks, Iowa. If I never go there again it will be too soon.
General rule of thumb on road trips. If you see a sign for services at the next exit and as the exit approaches you don't see these services (i.e. food, gas, lodging, etc.) right off the road. Hmm, it might not be a good idea to stop. Especially in the middle of the night. Getting lost is just a matter of few minutes down an unfamiliar road
and one wrong turn.
Also fast food sucks ass. Crystals and Long John Silvers both had me regretting my purchases. Regardless of how hungry I was. McDonald's on the other hand caused me to feel no ill effects. This is a mystery true indeed.
Though the circumstances were sad it was good to get away for a while. And the freedom to go where I wanted with no regard to work the next day was fuckin' blissful. I need to figure out how to be able to do that and still get the bills paid. There has got to be a way right?
And lastly I realize how much I despise LA. But more on that later...
See it happened on a Thursday. Earliest flights out were on a Saturday. Cheapest I could find was $695. And they all would have put me in the D on Sunday. So, that Friday I gassed up the ride and hit the road at noon. Sunday at 5pm PDT I was at my home in Detroit. Not to shabby. I have astounded most of my friends and family by making the journey so quickly. By driving I was able to maintain a sense of freedom cause I could go where I wanted when I wanted.
Thankfully my boss was understanding and told me to take a few weeks. Come back when I was ready and let him know if I needed more time. While it was a sad time it was good to see the friends and the fam again. And thankfully there was nothing crazy going on back home which made it all that much better.
During my time off I took some time to drive to the ATL. I needed to reconnect with some of the folks down there. And I even got to see Savannah. Thanks to Brooklyn for being a good sport about the impromptu road trip. I really didn't see that car that almost sideswiped us and I really thought I cleared the corner when we hit the curb. Seriously, you need to have your steering tightened or something.
I'd like to say that I hate Nebraska. Flat land with some grass, a couple trees and a cow or two. But more than that while driving through Omaha I got pulled over. True enough it was the most polite and the fastest pull over I have ever experienced but still. In all 5400+ miles of my trip I get stopped for have a air freshener and a rosary hanging from my rearview. Seriously, cause it could be distracting if an animal runs out into the road. Or some nonsense. But I got a warning (having removed the items before the cop could finish his statement as to why this was wrong) and was sent on my way. It was night time so I don't even know how he saw that since he didn't hit me with the searchlight.
Also a big fuck you to Iowa for having the most roadkill lying in the middle of the road of any state I drove through. Plenty of states have road kill. Iowa apparently just leaves it in the middle of the road. I hit a dead dog and some huge animal I have no idea what it was that was a giant skidmark/speedbump slicked across the fast lane into the slow lane. Thankfully I was in the slow lane. It could have gotten ugly. Not to mention Des Moines was hosting the Special Olympics, The Good Guys car show, and a little league tournament. Which means I had to drive almost 70 miles outside the city to find a room for the night. Causing me to drive an extra 2 hours after I should have stopped in my vain attempts to find a hotel with a vacancy. Thanks, Iowa. If I never go there again it will be too soon.
General rule of thumb on road trips. If you see a sign for services at the next exit and as the exit approaches you don't see these services (i.e. food, gas, lodging, etc.) right off the road. Hmm, it might not be a good idea to stop. Especially in the middle of the night. Getting lost is just a matter of few minutes down an unfamiliar road
and one wrong turn.
Also fast food sucks ass. Crystals and Long John Silvers both had me regretting my purchases. Regardless of how hungry I was. McDonald's on the other hand caused me to feel no ill effects. This is a mystery true indeed.
Though the circumstances were sad it was good to get away for a while. And the freedom to go where I wanted with no regard to work the next day was fuckin' blissful. I need to figure out how to be able to do that and still get the bills paid. There has got to be a way right?
And lastly I realize how much I despise LA. But more on that later...
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The Week in Review - June 19 to June 27 2006
So thankfully I got some new tires last Monday on the 19th. They didn't have the ones I priced in stock so I went with another model from the same manufacturer (Kumho). Since I had got the quote online they let me get the tires they had for the same price. I found out later that they should have been more expensive, so that was cool. I didn't get the speed rating I wanted but hey when am I ever going to go 149mph in a Camry let alone the 120 my current tires are rated for. With the tires and the alignment everything is great with me and the Camry. Now I just need a wash, wax, some new floor mats and decent sounds system and I will be ready for car owner ship in another year or so. I can't wait to not have a car note.
The next day I drove to San Diego to hang out with Brooklyn (speaking of which she needs to post something new) and her co-worker. Had a good time just wish I could have stayed longer. This 9 to 5 shit sucks man. I could have stayed in SD for the rest of the week as far as I'm concerned. But the job calls. Tyler Durden was right. "Things you own, end up owning you." I'm a slave to the system man. And that shit sucks.
I have rediscovered my love of video games. Between the new Tomb Raider and God of War my PS2 has been getting a workout recently. If you are into games at all pick these 2 up. The motorcycle levels in Tomb Raider aren't all that great but there are only a few and the rest of the game more than makes up for it. God of War takes some rather extreme liberties with greek mythology (Kratos kills Medusa, Kronos is alive and cursed to roam the Greek Desert[seriously WTF?] with castle of Pandora on his back, not to mentions the Sirens that roam the desert, the Greek Desert mind you) but that aside the game play is incredible. This is what Devil May Cry wishes it was. And to all my Devil May Cry fans, if you have to release a special edition to your game whose only new feature is that the game is easier, well you made your game too fuckin' hard in the first place. Kratos would rip Dante's metro ass in half. And you know it...
Why can't everyone make great games like these. Or at least mediocre games with tight controls. I recently bought 24 the Game and haven't picked it up since getting to hour 3. Pedestrian graphics and a poor control scheme makes it seem like a bad remake of Max Payne with out the tight controls. I mean really if a bad guy is standing right in front of me why do I turn to the right and start shooting at the wall when I hit L1 to auto target my enemy. Shit like that is unacceptable in this day an age. Especially with a game tied to such a great show. Hell the game is even in continuity with the series taking place, I believe, between Days 2 and 3 of the series. Storyline, good (it's still 24 after all). Gameplay, rubbish.
The next day I drove to San Diego to hang out with Brooklyn (speaking of which she needs to post something new) and her co-worker. Had a good time just wish I could have stayed longer. This 9 to 5 shit sucks man. I could have stayed in SD for the rest of the week as far as I'm concerned. But the job calls. Tyler Durden was right. "Things you own, end up owning you." I'm a slave to the system man. And that shit sucks.
I have rediscovered my love of video games. Between the new Tomb Raider and God of War my PS2 has been getting a workout recently. If you are into games at all pick these 2 up. The motorcycle levels in Tomb Raider aren't all that great but there are only a few and the rest of the game more than makes up for it. God of War takes some rather extreme liberties with greek mythology (Kratos kills Medusa, Kronos is alive and cursed to roam the Greek Desert[seriously WTF?] with castle of Pandora on his back, not to mentions the Sirens that roam the desert, the Greek Desert mind you) but that aside the game play is incredible. This is what Devil May Cry wishes it was. And to all my Devil May Cry fans, if you have to release a special edition to your game whose only new feature is that the game is easier, well you made your game too fuckin' hard in the first place. Kratos would rip Dante's metro ass in half. And you know it...
Why can't everyone make great games like these. Or at least mediocre games with tight controls. I recently bought 24 the Game and haven't picked it up since getting to hour 3. Pedestrian graphics and a poor control scheme makes it seem like a bad remake of Max Payne with out the tight controls. I mean really if a bad guy is standing right in front of me why do I turn to the right and start shooting at the wall when I hit L1 to auto target my enemy. Shit like that is unacceptable in this day an age. Especially with a game tied to such a great show. Hell the game is even in continuity with the series taking place, I believe, between Days 2 and 3 of the series. Storyline, good (it's still 24 after all). Gameplay, rubbish.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Car & Driver
I love my car. I really really do. Which is why I'm going to keep it when the lease is up. But I'm starting to wonder... See, I got a flat last night. And not just any flat. I had a blow out on the 101 north. Like this tire is done blow out. 4 inch hole blow out. Going to that ole tireyard in the sky blow out. Anyone familiar with California can tell you the only way this could have been worse would be if it had been rush hour on the 405 or maybe the 605 and it was dark. Thankfully it wasn't. Well it was dark because, unfortunately, it was 10 o'clock at night so I was basically changing the tire by the light of on coming traffic. Not fun. Fortunately I have changed my fair share of tires so it only took about 15 minutes or so. Which is actually kinda slow for me. 10 minutes tops is what it probably would have taken in the day time on a quiet none busy street. But being on the freeway was a much more daunting affair. One eye on the tire and another on traffic. Luckily no close calls. Not to mention there was enough traffic for me not to have to fumble to much to get it done. I started to call AAA but decided I could this on my own if I could find everything I needed. I've never had to change a tire on this car. Almost 5 years and this is the first one. That is some kind of record for me. So I fumbled for a minute looking for the crank for the jack. Toyota has a weird detachable handle thing. I'm used to it being attached. Between that and the fact that the spare was full sized I was good afterward.
Spent a good portion of the day today researching tires online. I'm getting them a little ahead of schedule but I found a good deal on some Kumho's at a place down the street from me. Yeah I know what you are thinking. What the hell are Kumho's? I thought it too. But the vast majority of there passenger tires got great reviews on epinions.com. I mean people love them. Only ran across a hand full of never by again comments. But comparing their reviews to some of the big boys (Dunlop, Michelin, etc.) there is no question that for the money they can't be beat. So I'm hoping. And in talking to my cousin (who is much more of a mechanic than me) he concluded it didn't really matter what kind I got anyway since I live in SoCal and I'm not doing anything special other than driving through the city. So with luck by this time tomorrow I'll be sitting on some new rubber. I would have gotten 4 more of the same tires I have now but I could find next to nothing on Wynstars Tires. Yeah I know. What the fuck are Wynstars? I don't know but they lasted me longer then any other tires I've ever had. Though truth be told I am also going to be spending more money than I ever have on tires this time around. So time will tell...
Spent a good portion of the day today researching tires online. I'm getting them a little ahead of schedule but I found a good deal on some Kumho's at a place down the street from me. Yeah I know what you are thinking. What the hell are Kumho's? I thought it too. But the vast majority of there passenger tires got great reviews on epinions.com. I mean people love them. Only ran across a hand full of never by again comments. But comparing their reviews to some of the big boys (Dunlop, Michelin, etc.) there is no question that for the money they can't be beat. So I'm hoping. And in talking to my cousin (who is much more of a mechanic than me) he concluded it didn't really matter what kind I got anyway since I live in SoCal and I'm not doing anything special other than driving through the city. So with luck by this time tomorrow I'll be sitting on some new rubber. I would have gotten 4 more of the same tires I have now but I could find next to nothing on Wynstars Tires. Yeah I know. What the fuck are Wynstars? I don't know but they lasted me longer then any other tires I've ever had. Though truth be told I am also going to be spending more money than I ever have on tires this time around. So time will tell...
Sunday, June 11, 2006
People are Weird
So I decide to have that beer I mentioned over at The Thanksgiving Project. Mostly cause I wanted to have a drive in the night air. This gave me the opportunity to check out a couple of neighborhoods near by that have condos for sale that I might interested in. So on the way back to the house I stop by the 24 hour CVS. And who knew that it was jumpin' on a Sunday night at 10PM.
Not that it was crowded but there were a lot people there. More than I had ever seen during the day. Since I was there I decided to grab a few things I needed. Which basically amounted to some razors and some tape. So once I got that stuff I headed to the freezer and got a 12 pack of MGD. Now this was the night CVS wanted to make it difficult as I had a problem getting the razors from the dispenser. So sure enough it was taking some work sliding the 12 pack out the frig. Halfway there I hear someone say, "excuse me, sir." Since I've almost got the beer I continue to pull it out as I turn to the side to see who was speaking. Some jovial old white man pushing a cart in the damn CVS wearing a black t-shirt and some old school bodybuilder pants to match. You know the ones. Not quite parachute pants but not quite sweat pants either. Hell, I think they might have had stars going down the side of them. Anyway, he apparently decided to come down my aisle and turn the corner right as I was blocking it with the refrigerator door. No worries the beer was out the door was closing and he said "thank you" and went on about his business.
But the more I thought about it the more annoyed I got. "Muthafucka don't you see me standing here havin' trouble getting this 12 pack out the damn refrigerator. Slow yo old ass roll fo' you get smacked the fuck up, bitch." Not sure why that started to bother me so much. Maybe cause it seemed obvious to me that I was having an issue getting this case out. Or the fact that his old ass went down this aisle with an empty cart to seemingly act as if I was in his way. I know I'm putting way to much thought into this. I probably just need some ass...
Not that it was crowded but there were a lot people there. More than I had ever seen during the day. Since I was there I decided to grab a few things I needed. Which basically amounted to some razors and some tape. So once I got that stuff I headed to the freezer and got a 12 pack of MGD. Now this was the night CVS wanted to make it difficult as I had a problem getting the razors from the dispenser. So sure enough it was taking some work sliding the 12 pack out the frig. Halfway there I hear someone say, "excuse me, sir." Since I've almost got the beer I continue to pull it out as I turn to the side to see who was speaking. Some jovial old white man pushing a cart in the damn CVS wearing a black t-shirt and some old school bodybuilder pants to match. You know the ones. Not quite parachute pants but not quite sweat pants either. Hell, I think they might have had stars going down the side of them. Anyway, he apparently decided to come down my aisle and turn the corner right as I was blocking it with the refrigerator door. No worries the beer was out the door was closing and he said "thank you" and went on about his business.
But the more I thought about it the more annoyed I got. "Muthafucka don't you see me standing here havin' trouble getting this 12 pack out the damn refrigerator. Slow yo old ass roll fo' you get smacked the fuck up, bitch." Not sure why that started to bother me so much. Maybe cause it seemed obvious to me that I was having an issue getting this case out. Or the fact that his old ass went down this aisle with an empty cart to seemingly act as if I was in his way. I know I'm putting way to much thought into this. I probably just need some ass...
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Virtual Sex?
Um, Wow. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. So, um yeah.... Online Sex Community Launched.
How long before this surpasses World of Warcraft?
How long before this surpasses World of Warcraft?
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
...The Trip or The Fall (aka the Wipeout)
Yesterday I had an accident. Though I feel as if I need some setup.
Monday I did receive my bag from ebags. Just as good as I had expected it to be in the first place. So, of course, Tuesday I put it to use. Packed up the laptop and stuff. Then headed off to work. On the way to the car I check the mailbox and I have a package from UPS. I go collect it and take note that it is the draws and under shirts I ordered from essentialapparel.com (really I am not getting paid for all these ads, though I do accept donations). I pause for a moment contemplating if I should go back up stairs and drop of the package or just take it with me. I decide on the latter. Deciding that because I park in the garage in my building with security and all in downtown LA I can safely leave my package in the car while at work. Not to mention its so dark down there you can barely see in the car in the first place. Though admittedly this was all initially just a vague feeling of "fuck it I should just take it with me." I'm glad I did.
That night I leave work, come home, and as usual have to park in the back of the complex because parking here sucks ass. As I walk to the front I have to pass an area where there are a set of dumpsters. And as usual there are cars lined up in the parking lot taking up ever available space. Even the spaces that aren't for parking. There is an area off to the side of the walled area with the dumpsters that contains those diagonal white lines that indicate this is not a parking space. Invariably someone always parks there. So, I'm walking along. My box of draws in hand and my messenger bag slung across my body. As I approach this area I have a decision to make. Walk on the left side of the car parked next to the diagonal lines or walk to the left of the car parked on the diagonal lines. Something told me not to choose the latter. But I did it any way.
At the last minute I decide that the left side, of the car parked on the diagonal lines, should be my path. Even though on the initial walk up my first instinct was the left side of the other car. So, wouldn't you know it I'm walking along, box in hand, and as I get to the end of the car (marking the area where you are officially not in the parking lot but in the paved back area of the complex where you are walking by the windows of the people on the first floor) my left foot hits the parking barrier. You know those long concrete blocks used to let you know when to stop when you park your car. And wouldn't you know it the slow motion sequences starts as my momentum begins to carry me over. My right foot instinctively goes up to try to right myself. For about half a second I was convinced I wouldn't fall as my right foot would extend out as if doing a forward lunge and I would catch myself. That was the 1st half second. The 2nd half second I realize as my right foot was coming up it hit the top of the barrier and over I went. And not like a trip and stumble kinda fall either. Oh, No. I went down like a tree does when a lumberjack has cut enough to just push it over. BAM!
Fortunately, for me. I was carrying that box of draws. It broke my fall. Who knew. I still ending up with a minor scrape on the left knee and right elbow (minor stub on the right knee) but otherwise I'm okay. I said a quick "fuck" (or a "shit") under my breath, picked myself up, and kept right on walking. I didn't hear anyone laughing so this was pretty much my personal shame. Walked it off got my mail and went home.
The question is did I take the box with me to work because deep down I knew I might fall? Or did I go that way around the car because I had the box with me knowing that I might fall? If I had gone the way I intended I probably wouldn't have fallen. That or I would have busted my head against the wall. Thing is I believe in intuition. The problem is you can't always tell what's intuition and what's you just doing what you want to do. When it works nothing usually happens (or on occasion something good you wanted to happen happens) but when you don't listen you usually ending up going "damn it, I knew I should have done 'such and such.' shit!" Then you are kicking yourself for not listening to yourself in the first place. This is the first time I wasn't sure what was what. Given the circumstance it could have been a happy coincidence (and if you say you don't believe in these you probably don't know the definition). Either that or I could have cracked my skull open if I had gone the other way...
Monday I did receive my bag from ebags. Just as good as I had expected it to be in the first place. So, of course, Tuesday I put it to use. Packed up the laptop and stuff. Then headed off to work. On the way to the car I check the mailbox and I have a package from UPS. I go collect it and take note that it is the draws and under shirts I ordered from essentialapparel.com (really I am not getting paid for all these ads, though I do accept donations). I pause for a moment contemplating if I should go back up stairs and drop of the package or just take it with me. I decide on the latter. Deciding that because I park in the garage in my building with security and all in downtown LA I can safely leave my package in the car while at work. Not to mention its so dark down there you can barely see in the car in the first place. Though admittedly this was all initially just a vague feeling of "fuck it I should just take it with me." I'm glad I did.
That night I leave work, come home, and as usual have to park in the back of the complex because parking here sucks ass. As I walk to the front I have to pass an area where there are a set of dumpsters. And as usual there are cars lined up in the parking lot taking up ever available space. Even the spaces that aren't for parking. There is an area off to the side of the walled area with the dumpsters that contains those diagonal white lines that indicate this is not a parking space. Invariably someone always parks there. So, I'm walking along. My box of draws in hand and my messenger bag slung across my body. As I approach this area I have a decision to make. Walk on the left side of the car parked next to the diagonal lines or walk to the left of the car parked on the diagonal lines. Something told me not to choose the latter. But I did it any way.
At the last minute I decide that the left side, of the car parked on the diagonal lines, should be my path. Even though on the initial walk up my first instinct was the left side of the other car. So, wouldn't you know it I'm walking along, box in hand, and as I get to the end of the car (marking the area where you are officially not in the parking lot but in the paved back area of the complex where you are walking by the windows of the people on the first floor) my left foot hits the parking barrier. You know those long concrete blocks used to let you know when to stop when you park your car. And wouldn't you know it the slow motion sequences starts as my momentum begins to carry me over. My right foot instinctively goes up to try to right myself. For about half a second I was convinced I wouldn't fall as my right foot would extend out as if doing a forward lunge and I would catch myself. That was the 1st half second. The 2nd half second I realize as my right foot was coming up it hit the top of the barrier and over I went. And not like a trip and stumble kinda fall either. Oh, No. I went down like a tree does when a lumberjack has cut enough to just push it over. BAM!
Fortunately, for me. I was carrying that box of draws. It broke my fall. Who knew. I still ending up with a minor scrape on the left knee and right elbow (minor stub on the right knee) but otherwise I'm okay. I said a quick "fuck" (or a "shit") under my breath, picked myself up, and kept right on walking. I didn't hear anyone laughing so this was pretty much my personal shame. Walked it off got my mail and went home.
The question is did I take the box with me to work because deep down I knew I might fall? Or did I go that way around the car because I had the box with me knowing that I might fall? If I had gone the way I intended I probably wouldn't have fallen. That or I would have busted my head against the wall. Thing is I believe in intuition. The problem is you can't always tell what's intuition and what's you just doing what you want to do. When it works nothing usually happens (or on occasion something good you wanted to happen happens) but when you don't listen you usually ending up going "damn it, I knew I should have done 'such and such.' shit!" Then you are kicking yourself for not listening to yourself in the first place. This is the first time I wasn't sure what was what. Given the circumstance it could have been a happy coincidence (and if you say you don't believe in these you probably don't know the definition). Either that or I could have cracked my skull open if I had gone the other way...
Sunday, June 04, 2006
The Month in Review - May 2006
I've been in a blah kinda mood. So I haven't really felt like writing anything lately. But now that we are in the month of June and, I suppose, a lot of stuff happened, I should probably relieve you of your suspense. Yeah, right...
IPOD
Right around the end of April my Ipod died. Hard fast death. It literally just stopped working. So I had it checked out and the hard drive had failed. Since the fix was a couple hundred bucks I got a new one. And I went all out and got a black 60GB. If only because I've been spoiled by having my music collection accessible at a moments notice. And I must admit the video feature is much cooler than I thought it was. Not that I want to sit for hours on end watching movies on the thing. But a couple music videos every now and then is pretty cool. Say what you want about the iPod but its a damn good product.
DENTIST
1st week of May found me at the dentist office. Nothing major just my regular routine maintenance. Though I did discover that my regular hygienist has up and moved to Arizona. Her replacement (a friend of hers that she went to hygienist school with) says that she said it was because she wanted to buy a house. But she suspects it was because of her boyfriend moving there. I suspect the latter as well. Too bad she was cute. Not that my new one isn't. But she's married. Kinda changes the dynamic.
So to top that off I find out that my bottom gums in the back have gotten worse. On both sides. I think it was the vigorous scrubbing I gave them with the toothbrush before I went. Though I didn't bother to tell my hygienist. But hey what do I know. So that sucks. Now if I could just keep flossing on the regular I might be okay.
EYE DOCTOR
Finally went to the eye doctor and got a new contact prescription. And a new eye doctor too. My last one was cool. But he was extremely laid back and nonchalant about the condition of my eyes. They are nice and healthy and all that good stuff but I do have an astigmatism. And now that I have the new Dr I actually have a better understanding as to why contacts don't correct my vision to 100% the way glasses do. Old Doc just kinda shrugged it off. They don't make contacts that can correct for my astigmatism cause... well they just don't. New Doc actually explained why and there is more to it than, "they just don't." My eye condition is about half way from where it needs to be to get the special astigmatism lenses. Of course she gave a much more in depth explanation but hell I'm not an eye doctor. The point is new prescription, better night vision, and I need to get new lenses for my glasses.
EBAGS
I've had nothing but good experiences from ebags.com. I've gotten a backpack, a messenger bag & and a new suitcase. And up until my most recent purchase I was a satisfied customer. My latest purchase, however, (a messenger bag exactly like my previous except larger and with a special compartment for my laptop) has found me wanting. The order went through ok and I even received the item a week ahead of the estimated deliver. Ok, cool. But upon inspection it was defective. Containing not one but 2 cuts side by side on the strap. One about half an inch the other about a full inch. And they were probably only about an inch apart, or less. Which means that it it was almost about half way through the strap. So, frustrated I go only to find out how to exchange it. Only to discover that they don't have direct exchanges. They have returns and what they call exchanges is a return with a store credit. *sigh* Ok, fine. So I go through the motions of doing what I need to do for the "exchange" only to find out that they e-mail you a label to print out and tape to the original box and send through UPS. Box? What box? They sent me the bag in one of those cheap grey plastic mailing bags. *sigh* Fine, Spend $2 on a box, wrap everything back up and drop off at the UPS store. Finally, got an e-mail about them receiving it a few days later and the store credit e-mail would follow in 24 hours. So, 2 days later I go only after not getting the e-mail find that I was actually credited. They just didn't tell me. So, once I again I go through the motions of reordering, using the credit with a couple bucks to spare due to a special promo and according to their calculation it should have been here yesterday. *sigh* But on the bright side UPS scanned it in about 6 miles from my house at around 11:30 PM on June 2nd. And yeah they do deliver on Saturdays. That was the day I got the original one. *sigh* Not to mention I got not one but two e-mail the day after I submitted the reorder saying my my store credit was available. Three days after they told me it would be a day. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
REALITY TV
Pretty much sucks. I bring this up because in the last month I have either seen or heard of shows that cause me to shake my head in disgust. I means seriously, Yo Momma, God or the Girl and King of Cars? Who green lights this shit?
Somebody please smack the shit out of Wilmer Valderrama. I've seen a few eps (and by that I mean I have seen about 5 minutes of different episodes) and it comes off like bad battle rapping. Guys basically tell yo momma jokes and then Wilmer and his boys talk about who was better. WTF? This is a show? This should be a 2 minute internet clip on mtv.com. At the most.
God or the Girl basically follows the lives of several men as they go to seminary and their struggle to be a celibate priest or go back the women in there lives. Never seen an episode, but the premise alone...
King of Cars reaffirms my belief that car sales men are the scum of the Earth. I watched all of one episode and was thoroughly discussed by the shady dealings of this Las Vegas car dealership. Seriously, you have a trade in and put down $10K on an Charger R/T but you can't get payments of $400 a month or even a little less? The couple wanted payments of $400 at the most. The salesman nickel and dimed them down from like $500 to $439. Bastards. And I won't even mention the website dedicated to the shady dealings of this dealership.
I'll leave it to you to google these shows for more info. Right...
BET
I'm fuckin' done with BET. They completely suck nothing but ass now. Rap City can no longer redeem them.
CAR
I think I'm going to keep my car after the lease is up in November. I figure I might be able to have it completely paid off in about a year in a half. All I'm looking forward too now is not having a car note. Because of that I've taken to doing regular maintenance as recommended. Which basically means I'm going to need some new tires here soon. And now that I have replaced a belt, a motor mount and some other regular stuff I feel like I'm on the path to true car owner ship again. Not to mention this might be the first year ever I can pay off my car insurance premium as opposed to monthly payments. That would be freekin' sweet.
So that's what's been going on with me. What's up with y'all?
IPOD
Right around the end of April my Ipod died. Hard fast death. It literally just stopped working. So I had it checked out and the hard drive had failed. Since the fix was a couple hundred bucks I got a new one. And I went all out and got a black 60GB. If only because I've been spoiled by having my music collection accessible at a moments notice. And I must admit the video feature is much cooler than I thought it was. Not that I want to sit for hours on end watching movies on the thing. But a couple music videos every now and then is pretty cool. Say what you want about the iPod but its a damn good product.
DENTIST
1st week of May found me at the dentist office. Nothing major just my regular routine maintenance. Though I did discover that my regular hygienist has up and moved to Arizona. Her replacement (a friend of hers that she went to hygienist school with) says that she said it was because she wanted to buy a house. But she suspects it was because of her boyfriend moving there. I suspect the latter as well. Too bad she was cute. Not that my new one isn't. But she's married. Kinda changes the dynamic.
So to top that off I find out that my bottom gums in the back have gotten worse. On both sides. I think it was the vigorous scrubbing I gave them with the toothbrush before I went. Though I didn't bother to tell my hygienist. But hey what do I know. So that sucks. Now if I could just keep flossing on the regular I might be okay.
EYE DOCTOR
Finally went to the eye doctor and got a new contact prescription. And a new eye doctor too. My last one was cool. But he was extremely laid back and nonchalant about the condition of my eyes. They are nice and healthy and all that good stuff but I do have an astigmatism. And now that I have the new Dr I actually have a better understanding as to why contacts don't correct my vision to 100% the way glasses do. Old Doc just kinda shrugged it off. They don't make contacts that can correct for my astigmatism cause... well they just don't. New Doc actually explained why and there is more to it than, "they just don't." My eye condition is about half way from where it needs to be to get the special astigmatism lenses. Of course she gave a much more in depth explanation but hell I'm not an eye doctor. The point is new prescription, better night vision, and I need to get new lenses for my glasses.
EBAGS
I've had nothing but good experiences from ebags.com. I've gotten a backpack, a messenger bag & and a new suitcase. And up until my most recent purchase I was a satisfied customer. My latest purchase, however, (a messenger bag exactly like my previous except larger and with a special compartment for my laptop) has found me wanting. The order went through ok and I even received the item a week ahead of the estimated deliver. Ok, cool. But upon inspection it was defective. Containing not one but 2 cuts side by side on the strap. One about half an inch the other about a full inch. And they were probably only about an inch apart, or less. Which means that it it was almost about half way through the strap. So, frustrated I go only to find out how to exchange it. Only to discover that they don't have direct exchanges. They have returns and what they call exchanges is a return with a store credit. *sigh* Ok, fine. So I go through the motions of doing what I need to do for the "exchange" only to find out that they e-mail you a label to print out and tape to the original box and send through UPS. Box? What box? They sent me the bag in one of those cheap grey plastic mailing bags. *sigh* Fine, Spend $2 on a box, wrap everything back up and drop off at the UPS store. Finally, got an e-mail about them receiving it a few days later and the store credit e-mail would follow in 24 hours. So, 2 days later I go only after not getting the e-mail find that I was actually credited. They just didn't tell me. So, once I again I go through the motions of reordering, using the credit with a couple bucks to spare due to a special promo and according to their calculation it should have been here yesterday. *sigh* But on the bright side UPS scanned it in about 6 miles from my house at around 11:30 PM on June 2nd. And yeah they do deliver on Saturdays. That was the day I got the original one. *sigh* Not to mention I got not one but two e-mail the day after I submitted the reorder saying my my store credit was available. Three days after they told me it would be a day. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
REALITY TV
Pretty much sucks. I bring this up because in the last month I have either seen or heard of shows that cause me to shake my head in disgust. I means seriously, Yo Momma, God or the Girl and King of Cars? Who green lights this shit?
Somebody please smack the shit out of Wilmer Valderrama. I've seen a few eps (and by that I mean I have seen about 5 minutes of different episodes) and it comes off like bad battle rapping. Guys basically tell yo momma jokes and then Wilmer and his boys talk about who was better. WTF? This is a show? This should be a 2 minute internet clip on mtv.com. At the most.
God or the Girl basically follows the lives of several men as they go to seminary and their struggle to be a celibate priest or go back the women in there lives. Never seen an episode, but the premise alone...
King of Cars reaffirms my belief that car sales men are the scum of the Earth. I watched all of one episode and was thoroughly discussed by the shady dealings of this Las Vegas car dealership. Seriously, you have a trade in and put down $10K on an Charger R/T but you can't get payments of $400 a month or even a little less? The couple wanted payments of $400 at the most. The salesman nickel and dimed them down from like $500 to $439. Bastards. And I won't even mention the website dedicated to the shady dealings of this dealership.
I'll leave it to you to google these shows for more info. Right...
BET
I'm fuckin' done with BET. They completely suck nothing but ass now. Rap City can no longer redeem them.
CAR
I think I'm going to keep my car after the lease is up in November. I figure I might be able to have it completely paid off in about a year in a half. All I'm looking forward too now is not having a car note. Because of that I've taken to doing regular maintenance as recommended. Which basically means I'm going to need some new tires here soon. And now that I have replaced a belt, a motor mount and some other regular stuff I feel like I'm on the path to true car owner ship again. Not to mention this might be the first year ever I can pay off my car insurance premium as opposed to monthly payments. That would be freekin' sweet.
So that's what's been going on with me. What's up with y'all?
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Meh...
Haven't felt much like blogging lately. Then again haven't felt much like anything. More to come... Eventually.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
I was in an Accident...
It was a week ago today actually. But don't worry, me and my car are fine. It was more like a minor fender bender that didn't actually bend any fenders. It was an unusually bumper to bumper traffic day on the 101. Stop and go and so forth. I was about 2 or 3 miles from my job when the car in front of me stopped. Now I had allowed for a very safe distance between us. At least in terms of slowing down but since the car came to a dead stop I had to be a little more cautious in my efforts to slow down. So I carefully eased my car to stop with a foot or 2 of the car in front of me. All the while keep a watchful eye on the car behind me. I didn't want to hit the guy in front of me and I didn't want to get hit from behind.
Initially this strategy paid off. I came to a dead stop with room to spare. The car behind me came to a dead stop with no apparent problems. And as I sat back to breath a sigh of relief, BAMM. The chick behinds me rear-ends me. With such force I was sure both of our cars were wrecked. I curse to myself and have a moment of shock and awe as to what to do now. A few moments later I say fuck it, put the car in park, and get out to go face the music. Rear-end chick is also out of her car asking if I'm ok.
"I'm fine," I replied as I surveyed what I thought was our damaged vehicles. "Are you ok?"
"I'm okay," she said as she followed my gaze to the front of her car. "How is your car?"
I take a moment to absorb my surroundings. I'm out standing outside my car on the 101 south in LA. I'm looking at the back of car that just got rear-ended. It could use a wash. Angry drivers are yelling and honking as I rub my hand across the rear bumper. It flexes just enough for me to feel the metal bar that runs along the underside of the outer material. I notice several scratches from that time I backed to close to the parking lot wall of my apartment. But there is no other damage. I do a double take and realize there is nothing apparently wrong with my car. Not only that her car doesn't look like anything happened to it.
"I think I'm okay," I say to her as she goes to talk to the guy behind her.
I realized then that she was rear-ended too. Which caused her to hit me which thankfully caused me not to hit anyone. A forth car is stopped behind that guy. But I can't tell if its because he hit car number 3 or it's because car number 3 is just stopped on the freeway.
I return to my car to get my cell a little weirded out. As I'm pulling it out girl from car 2 comes up and asks if I'm going to stay.
"Shouldn't we?" I asked.
She replied that she was fine her car was fine and the other guys says he is okay she she is going to leave. I get out of my car once again inquiry if she was sure. She assured me that she was fine and again asked if I was okay. Again I replied I was fine as I checked my car again.
"Are you okay?" I asked guy from car 3 as he was climbing back in his SUV.
He nodded and waved back to me as if to so everything is cool.
"I guess we are all okay then."
"Yeah, thank God no one was hurt." She said getting back in her car.
"Yeah."
I got back in my car started it back up and in moments I was on my way. I breathed a sigh of relief and was kind shock for a second but I'm fine now. Later I would remember that episode of 60 minutes (or was it 20/20?) where the crash safety institute ranked the Camry low on there rear collisions. A year later Toyota got wise and created this big metal bar that if memory serves attaches to the frame in a way to minimize rear collision damage. Of course the institute game them much higher praise the next year for this. Though they did recommend that if you had to be in an accident a rear collision would be the best one for you to be in based on their tests. I guess it's good I own a relatively new Camry.
So here it is a week later and I'm still fine and so is my car. I checked it again when I got to work and I've been checking it ever since. It's fine and so am I. Thank God for small favors.
But I still got ole girls license plates & car description. I mean you never know right...
Initially this strategy paid off. I came to a dead stop with room to spare. The car behind me came to a dead stop with no apparent problems. And as I sat back to breath a sigh of relief, BAMM. The chick behinds me rear-ends me. With such force I was sure both of our cars were wrecked. I curse to myself and have a moment of shock and awe as to what to do now. A few moments later I say fuck it, put the car in park, and get out to go face the music. Rear-end chick is also out of her car asking if I'm ok.
"I'm fine," I replied as I surveyed what I thought was our damaged vehicles. "Are you ok?"
"I'm okay," she said as she followed my gaze to the front of her car. "How is your car?"
I take a moment to absorb my surroundings. I'm out standing outside my car on the 101 south in LA. I'm looking at the back of car that just got rear-ended. It could use a wash. Angry drivers are yelling and honking as I rub my hand across the rear bumper. It flexes just enough for me to feel the metal bar that runs along the underside of the outer material. I notice several scratches from that time I backed to close to the parking lot wall of my apartment. But there is no other damage. I do a double take and realize there is nothing apparently wrong with my car. Not only that her car doesn't look like anything happened to it.
"I think I'm okay," I say to her as she goes to talk to the guy behind her.
I realized then that she was rear-ended too. Which caused her to hit me which thankfully caused me not to hit anyone. A forth car is stopped behind that guy. But I can't tell if its because he hit car number 3 or it's because car number 3 is just stopped on the freeway.
I return to my car to get my cell a little weirded out. As I'm pulling it out girl from car 2 comes up and asks if I'm going to stay.
"Shouldn't we?" I asked.
She replied that she was fine her car was fine and the other guys says he is okay she she is going to leave. I get out of my car once again inquiry if she was sure. She assured me that she was fine and again asked if I was okay. Again I replied I was fine as I checked my car again.
"Are you okay?" I asked guy from car 3 as he was climbing back in his SUV.
He nodded and waved back to me as if to so everything is cool.
"I guess we are all okay then."
"Yeah, thank God no one was hurt." She said getting back in her car.
"Yeah."
I got back in my car started it back up and in moments I was on my way. I breathed a sigh of relief and was kind shock for a second but I'm fine now. Later I would remember that episode of 60 minutes (or was it 20/20?) where the crash safety institute ranked the Camry low on there rear collisions. A year later Toyota got wise and created this big metal bar that if memory serves attaches to the frame in a way to minimize rear collision damage. Of course the institute game them much higher praise the next year for this. Though they did recommend that if you had to be in an accident a rear collision would be the best one for you to be in based on their tests. I guess it's good I own a relatively new Camry.
So here it is a week later and I'm still fine and so is my car. I checked it again when I got to work and I've been checking it ever since. It's fine and so am I. Thank God for small favors.
But I still got ole girls license plates & car description. I mean you never know right...
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Detroit, What?!?!
Contrary to popular belief I don't hate Detroit. Really I don't. Just the rotten muthafuckas that inhabit it. Ok, fine, 911 gets 2 million calls a year. A fourth of those calls are either incorrect calls for services not provided by 911 or pranks. Seriously, where is the joke when a 5 year old calls because his mother passed out. How in the hell is he playing on the phone? I heard the tape and he wasn't laughing.
Now the woman who was shot was unusually calm but still... She just caught 2 bullets, one of which in the head, and is laying in a pool of her own blood, it's conceivable she was in shock. But to sit back and call her crazy while she pleads with you to send some help? Come on y'all. I heard that tape, too. These nasty, rude 911 workers are just plain wrong.
All that and then Proof was shot. Sad.
I love Detroit. But the rancid bastards that live there...
And for the record if you are a good person that still lives there then I am not talking about you. Capiche?
USATODAY.com - Lawyer: Boy not alone in Detroit 911 snub
Now the woman who was shot was unusually calm but still... She just caught 2 bullets, one of which in the head, and is laying in a pool of her own blood, it's conceivable she was in shock. But to sit back and call her crazy while she pleads with you to send some help? Come on y'all. I heard that tape, too. These nasty, rude 911 workers are just plain wrong.
All that and then Proof was shot. Sad.
I love Detroit. But the rancid bastards that live there...
And for the record if you are a good person that still lives there then I am not talking about you. Capiche?
USATODAY.com - Lawyer: Boy not alone in Detroit 911 snub
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Natalie Portman: Gangsta Rapper
I can't wait for the album. I mean she is just as good if not better than half of the muthafuckas out right now. Can't you just imagine her flowin' over some Dre beats with DMX. That would be the shit. I need a Gangsta Bitch like Natalie Portman. *sigh* if only...
DevilDucky - Natalie Portman: Gangsta Rap
DevilDucky - Natalie Portman: Gangsta Rap
Friday, March 10, 2006
A Matter of Size
So as I mentioned in my previous post I've noticed something disturbing with the Gap and Old Navy (I've been a fan of Old N since I discovered they exist & the G is cool I guess). See back in the days their sizes only went up to XXL. For most people that's no big deal. Even for me being a big guy it wasn't a big deal. That's because I like my clothers to be big and baggy on me. So a XXL t-shirt is pretty much just right. It's nice and roomy just how I like. At least it used to be. But then again technically it still is. Just not at Old N and the Gap.
I've always been a relatively big guy. Even when I didn't weigh so much I've all was had a broad back and shoulders. So back in the days XL was the size of choice for the big and baggy shirts. Until I started working out and I got bigger and broader. Then XXL was the size of choice. And has been for the better part of a decade. Though I have gone through various weight fluctuations XXLs have always fit me fine. And technically they still do. Just not at Old N and the G.
A couple yours ago, roughly around the latter half of 2004, I got a t-shirt from Old N. XXL like I always do and it didn't fit me quite right. I had gotten it online and noticed that XXXL was now an option on most of their shirts. I didn't think much of it until that XXL t-shirt didn't fit quite right. Of course my initial reaction was, "Holy Shit I've gotten fat as hell." Um, yeah. Not so fast Biggie Smallz...
Around this same time I notice that the G had also done the same thing. While I hadn't gotten anything from the G in awhile (since it and Old N are part of the same company) I figured they had made the same changes. Of course they had (but I'm getting to that). So having a XXL that didn't fit was a little disheartening. That is until I realized that other XXL shirts still fit the way I like. Not to mention I still had old XXL shirts that fit me fine. Hell, one from the G that I've had since '98. Still fits great. Another from JCrew (not that this is about them, but they do the same thing now except they don't even offer XXLs any more, at least not that I've noticed, but I'm pretty much done with them anyway) that I have had since '95 also fits just as great. So I wasn't disheartened for long after getting some new shirts (button ups and t-shirts) from some different places and realizing XXLs still actually fit me. So what the hell was up with The G and Old N?
Apparently, they just readjusted their sizes. For no good reason what so ever. Cause now their XXXLs fit like their XXLs used to. Keep in mind I can still where everyone else's XXLs with no problems. And I do on occasion. Not to mention my older XXLs that still fit the same. Why would they change their sizes like this? I have no idea. Unless it's some conspiracy to make people feel bad. I mean, shit man, putting on a XXL shirt that doesn't fit from a place that used to make them fit is kinda fucked up. Especially, when the day before you wore another XXL that did fit from the same place. So for Old N and the G I wear a XXXL shirt. Ok, fine. I can live with that. Especially when I'm a XXL at every other store that sells them. I suppose that's better than Banana Republic, Abercrombie (racist bastards), American Eagle, Urban Outfitter (I could so have the hook up there) and Calvin Kleins punk asses. They barely even sell clothes beyond L let alone XL or XXL. They only make shit for skinny niggas. Bastards...
I've always been a relatively big guy. Even when I didn't weigh so much I've all was had a broad back and shoulders. So back in the days XL was the size of choice for the big and baggy shirts. Until I started working out and I got bigger and broader. Then XXL was the size of choice. And has been for the better part of a decade. Though I have gone through various weight fluctuations XXLs have always fit me fine. And technically they still do. Just not at Old N and the G.
A couple yours ago, roughly around the latter half of 2004, I got a t-shirt from Old N. XXL like I always do and it didn't fit me quite right. I had gotten it online and noticed that XXXL was now an option on most of their shirts. I didn't think much of it until that XXL t-shirt didn't fit quite right. Of course my initial reaction was, "Holy Shit I've gotten fat as hell." Um, yeah. Not so fast Biggie Smallz...
Around this same time I notice that the G had also done the same thing. While I hadn't gotten anything from the G in awhile (since it and Old N are part of the same company) I figured they had made the same changes. Of course they had (but I'm getting to that). So having a XXL that didn't fit was a little disheartening. That is until I realized that other XXL shirts still fit the way I like. Not to mention I still had old XXL shirts that fit me fine. Hell, one from the G that I've had since '98. Still fits great. Another from JCrew (not that this is about them, but they do the same thing now except they don't even offer XXLs any more, at least not that I've noticed, but I'm pretty much done with them anyway) that I have had since '95 also fits just as great. So I wasn't disheartened for long after getting some new shirts (button ups and t-shirts) from some different places and realizing XXLs still actually fit me. So what the hell was up with The G and Old N?
Apparently, they just readjusted their sizes. For no good reason what so ever. Cause now their XXXLs fit like their XXLs used to. Keep in mind I can still where everyone else's XXLs with no problems. And I do on occasion. Not to mention my older XXLs that still fit the same. Why would they change their sizes like this? I have no idea. Unless it's some conspiracy to make people feel bad. I mean, shit man, putting on a XXL shirt that doesn't fit from a place that used to make them fit is kinda fucked up. Especially, when the day before you wore another XXL that did fit from the same place. So for Old N and the G I wear a XXXL shirt. Ok, fine. I can live with that. Especially when I'm a XXL at every other store that sells them. I suppose that's better than Banana Republic, Abercrombie (racist bastards), American Eagle, Urban Outfitter (I could so have the hook up there) and Calvin Kleins punk asses. They barely even sell clothes beyond L let alone XL or XXL. They only make shit for skinny niggas. Bastards...
Procrastination & Vodka
I've been meaning to post for a while now. Even though I have had some subjects on my mind I've been feeling uninspired. So, I thought, at the very least tonight I would just at least mention a couple things.
FOR MY MAC USERS:
If you read a good amount of Blogs as I do you should be using NetNewsWire. And if you blog as much as I do then you should be using is companion MarsEdit. As I have been doing recently. If you have been reading my last few blog posts then you have noticed a slight change in format. My last couple posts have been through MarsEdit. And not only is it cool it has made the difference in me actually posting at all. Since my last couple posts have mainly been links to other things. MarsEdit has made this an easy and painless process since it has allowed me to comment and post about other stuff with ease. If you are using a Mac (Fuule and Brooklyn, I'm talking to you) then you should give them a try. While MarsEdit doesn't allow you to organize your blog posts by months and years, if you post to multiple sites (as I suspect some of you do, Brooklyn) then it will at least organize that. Check it out.
MUSIC LOVERS:
Hip Hop is not dead, Bitches! More to come later.
ALCOHOL LOVERS:
Red Bull and Vodka is the shit. Specifically Red bull and Blue Ice. Rain was the first person to turn me on to the Blue Ice. And when you mix that with Red Bull it is something to behold. Give it a try, if you don't believe me, or even if you do, as it will leave you with a smooth coherent buzz as it relaxes you into an alcoholic stupor. Ok, maybe stupor is a strong word. But it will definitely leave you feeling nice. Check it out.
FASHION LOVERS:
Old Navy and the Gap are responsible for size gouging. More on this later. As it will probably be my next post. I've been meaning to talk about this for a while. Being a man of size it's annoying to me to see these companies exaggerating their sizes. For no particular reason what so ever.
More to come later...
FOR MY MAC USERS:
If you read a good amount of Blogs as I do you should be using NetNewsWire. And if you blog as much as I do then you should be using is companion MarsEdit. As I have been doing recently. If you have been reading my last few blog posts then you have noticed a slight change in format. My last couple posts have been through MarsEdit. And not only is it cool it has made the difference in me actually posting at all. Since my last couple posts have mainly been links to other things. MarsEdit has made this an easy and painless process since it has allowed me to comment and post about other stuff with ease. If you are using a Mac (Fuule and Brooklyn, I'm talking to you) then you should give them a try. While MarsEdit doesn't allow you to organize your blog posts by months and years, if you post to multiple sites (as I suspect some of you do, Brooklyn) then it will at least organize that. Check it out.
MUSIC LOVERS:
Hip Hop is not dead, Bitches! More to come later.
ALCOHOL LOVERS:
Red Bull and Vodka is the shit. Specifically Red bull and Blue Ice. Rain was the first person to turn me on to the Blue Ice. And when you mix that with Red Bull it is something to behold. Give it a try, if you don't believe me, or even if you do, as it will leave you with a smooth coherent buzz as it relaxes you into an alcoholic stupor. Ok, maybe stupor is a strong word. But it will definitely leave you feeling nice. Check it out.
FASHION LOVERS:
Old Navy and the Gap are responsible for size gouging. More on this later. As it will probably be my next post. I've been meaning to talk about this for a while. Being a man of size it's annoying to me to see these companies exaggerating their sizes. For no particular reason what so ever.
More to come later...
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Valentine's Is For Lovers...
This one is for SweetB since she was expecting me to post about Valentine's on Valentine's:
BBC News | WORLD | In pictures: Valentine's Day around the world
So for her and all you other romantic bastards, Happy Belated Horny Werewolf Day. No I'm not bitter. Not in the fuckin' least...
BBC News | WORLD | In pictures: Valentine's Day around the world
So for her and all you other romantic bastards, Happy Belated Horny Werewolf Day. No I'm not bitter. Not in the fuckin' least...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
And You Thought The East Coast Had It Bad...
Biggest Lightning Storm Ever Recorded on Saturn - Yahoo! News
"Scientists are tracking the strongest lighting storm ever detected at Saturn. The storm is larger than the continental United States, with electrical activity 1,000 times stronger than the lightning on Earth."
Um, damn...
If Stupid Was A Crime...
though apparently it is in North Dakota. Seriously, WTF, man?!?!
Woman Allegedly Tries to Buy Pot From Cops - Yahoo! News:
Mon Feb 13, 10:44 PM ET
WEST FARGO, N.D. - A North Dakota State University student is facing charges after allegedly trying to buy marijuana at the police station.
Saturday's incident was 'about the craziest thing I've ever come across,' Officer Ken Zeeb said. 'This is something that you couldn't even make up.'
The 20-year-old woman called the police station about 3:15 a.m. Saturday, asking where she could buy marijuana, authorities said. The dispatcher, after repeatedly telling the woman it was illegal to sell and possess marijuana, then told her that police had some of the drug in the station's evidence locker.
Zeeb had arrived for his 4 a.m. shift about 15 minutes early and was in the evidence locker room when the woman arrived.
"The dispatcher got on the intercom and said, 'You know what? She's here. She just handed me $3 for marijuana,'" Zeeb said.
The woman was arrested on charges of criminal attempt and possession of drug paraphernalia.
"She didn't seem like she was really under the influence of drugs or alcohol," Zeeb said. "She understood what was going on and articulated herself well."
Friday, February 03, 2006
Questions & Comments
This is mostly for Rain (feel free to comment or create your own response post) but everyone else please feel free to comment as well.
Oprah
Yeah, I know. But, hey, I thought it might actually be informative. It used to be informative when they had those “get-out-of-debt-you-to-can-be-a-millionaire” shows. Now it’s just... I don’t even have the words. But, damn it, Dave Chappelle will be on today. I really feel like I need to see that. You know someone is going to bring up his Oprah skit. That alone will probably be worth it.
Kiyosaki
I got nothing. I know why you say he is a fraud. I know what John Reed thinks of his book. He is pretty much on point. But I think Kiyo is guilty of doing what he can to come up. He does what most people do in his position. Give you a basic concept for something in order to entice you into buying more and more until you can piece together the whole picture. I have read 2 of his books and understand “the game” (not the board game, though I have played it and understand it too). Suffice it to say those 2 books are about all I need to read from him. Something you learn in book 3 (yeah, I skipped book 2, don’t remember why) is all that pay “yourself first” crap applies to corporations. He never mentioned that in the first book. But I must admit the board game is fun as hell with a group of people. Though charging $200 for it is damn near criminal. If he wanted to really be rich he would license it to Milton Bradley charge $25 for it and start rackin’ in the dough. No, I have not bought it.
Reggie Hudlin
Yo, what did he do to Aaron McGruder? I hadn’t heard anything about that. I’ve read a couple of articles\interviews with Aaron McGruder and he only mentioned it in one. And then all he would say about it is that things didn’t work out. But they were still contractually obligated to include him as a producer in the credits of the Boondocks. Even still does that mean I shouldn’t read a good book because of something the author did in his personal life. Should I not listen to R. Kelly or Michael Jackson anymore either? Hmm, that’s probably a subject I don’t need to even bring up... But, for real, what happened with them? The Boondocks is one of the best shows on TV right now. I blame all that on Aaron.
Hoopz
Thing about her is that she is my type of all the chicks on that show. Stripper or not she is fine. I’ve seen her website and she doesn’t look nearly as good on it. Hell, I saw it before I ever saw the show and didn’t even recognize her. But it’s not, just, that she is fine but her TV edited personality seems cool too. So, that’s just gravy. But I do have other types too. That might be something to post about later. Though for now I can get passed her nose...
Murano
How did you like that Nissan you rented. I know you didn’t particularly care for the styling but other than that how did you like it? My lease (long story don’t ask) is up in November so I am in the market for a new car. Mostly cause I don’t like the idea of paying on my current car for another 3 to 4 years. The Murano is a consideration mostly because my company can get a discount on Nissans and secondly because I want an SUV. I hate the new look of the Pathfinders and the Xterras get like 15mpg on the highway. Please feel free to offer any SUV suggestions. Though try to keep the price below $30K.
Redlining
I think you are a victim of this too, dawg. I mean I’m in the exact same boat. If I moved to Glendale it would effectively cut my payments almost in half. Give or take $10. Never mind my lack of moving violations or accidents or anything else that you would think plays a major part in the price of your premiums. The bad stuff effects the price why not the lack of it too. After years of a spotless driving record the most I could get from my company was a 9 month payment as opposed to a 10 month. While I appreciate it, it does seem a little... patronizing. I mean everything else stayed exactly the same. And, yes, the down payment does cover the remaining months.
Oprah
Yeah, I know. But, hey, I thought it might actually be informative. It used to be informative when they had those “get-out-of-debt-you-to-can-be-a-millionaire” shows. Now it’s just... I don’t even have the words. But, damn it, Dave Chappelle will be on today. I really feel like I need to see that. You know someone is going to bring up his Oprah skit. That alone will probably be worth it.
Kiyosaki
I got nothing. I know why you say he is a fraud. I know what John Reed thinks of his book. He is pretty much on point. But I think Kiyo is guilty of doing what he can to come up. He does what most people do in his position. Give you a basic concept for something in order to entice you into buying more and more until you can piece together the whole picture. I have read 2 of his books and understand “the game” (not the board game, though I have played it and understand it too). Suffice it to say those 2 books are about all I need to read from him. Something you learn in book 3 (yeah, I skipped book 2, don’t remember why) is all that pay “yourself first” crap applies to corporations. He never mentioned that in the first book. But I must admit the board game is fun as hell with a group of people. Though charging $200 for it is damn near criminal. If he wanted to really be rich he would license it to Milton Bradley charge $25 for it and start rackin’ in the dough. No, I have not bought it.
Reggie Hudlin
Yo, what did he do to Aaron McGruder? I hadn’t heard anything about that. I’ve read a couple of articles\interviews with Aaron McGruder and he only mentioned it in one. And then all he would say about it is that things didn’t work out. But they were still contractually obligated to include him as a producer in the credits of the Boondocks. Even still does that mean I shouldn’t read a good book because of something the author did in his personal life. Should I not listen to R. Kelly or Michael Jackson anymore either? Hmm, that’s probably a subject I don’t need to even bring up... But, for real, what happened with them? The Boondocks is one of the best shows on TV right now. I blame all that on Aaron.
Hoopz
Thing about her is that she is my type of all the chicks on that show. Stripper or not she is fine. I’ve seen her website and she doesn’t look nearly as good on it. Hell, I saw it before I ever saw the show and didn’t even recognize her. But it’s not, just, that she is fine but her TV edited personality seems cool too. So, that’s just gravy. But I do have other types too. That might be something to post about later. Though for now I can get passed her nose...
Murano
How did you like that Nissan you rented. I know you didn’t particularly care for the styling but other than that how did you like it? My lease (long story don’t ask) is up in November so I am in the market for a new car. Mostly cause I don’t like the idea of paying on my current car for another 3 to 4 years. The Murano is a consideration mostly because my company can get a discount on Nissans and secondly because I want an SUV. I hate the new look of the Pathfinders and the Xterras get like 15mpg on the highway. Please feel free to offer any SUV suggestions. Though try to keep the price below $30K.
Redlining
I think you are a victim of this too, dawg. I mean I’m in the exact same boat. If I moved to Glendale it would effectively cut my payments almost in half. Give or take $10. Never mind my lack of moving violations or accidents or anything else that you would think plays a major part in the price of your premiums. The bad stuff effects the price why not the lack of it too. After years of a spotless driving record the most I could get from my company was a 9 month payment as opposed to a 10 month. While I appreciate it, it does seem a little... patronizing. I mean everything else stayed exactly the same. And, yes, the down payment does cover the remaining months.
Sticky on the Come Up
I meant to make a post about this awhile ago but, apparently, Kirk “Sticky Fingaz” Jones will be playing Blade in the made for TV movie. Yes, the same Blade portrayed by Wesley Snipes in the movies. It will be premiering soon on SpikeTV. And since Marvel and Spike have just announced that it will be an ongoing series (reminding me I was supposed to comment on it) I figured no time like the present. While Sticky is certainly not the first person that comes to mind, I think he might do an alright job. Though until this moment no one else had come to mind. Taye Diggs, maybe? Hey, go watch Equilibrium before you start hemmin’ and hawin’ about that one. All you really have to do as Blade is just walk around like a badass and kick ass like one. I think Sticky will do fine. Considering his impressive performance on that show Platinum I have to figure Blade will be cake for him. Keep in mind I saw him in that movie Ride and in Next Friday. Considering that this is the same person that was on Platinum he deserves a damn Oscar. Or at least some consideration (no, not really for an Oscar). Seriously have you seen Ride? Did you catch Next Friday? To go from that to his work on Platinum is damn near phenomenal. Forget about that fact that he has been in a ton more stuff than I even knew about. So, for the time being I’ll give Blade the TV movie the benefit of the doubt. Hmm, but then again it is on SpikeTV...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Does GLAAD Need to Grow Up?
I’m just curious. I didn’t see the episode of American Idol that had them in an uproar. However, I did see the clip where Randy questions the guy about whether or not he was a girl. And to me he seemed justified. I mean think about it for a minute. Put yourself in his shoes. A kid walks in that looks like a girl. Hair done up like a girl. Sounds like a girl. Dresses like a girl. And pretty much has feminine mannerisms and attitude but then begins referring to himself (herself?) as a he. Wouldn’t you wonder too? All Randy asked was “are you a girl?” And he kinda did the stutter stammer thing, “are...? are...? are you a girl?” When the guy was like “I’m a guy.” He looked confused and was like “oh, ok.” Too me he seemed genuinely curious. In all honesty EXTRA didn’t show what the other judges had to say about it. But you would think it was some horrible degrading shit the way the guy stormed out of the building proclaiming how racist, sexist, and hateful, not only American Idol but the United States, was. Bare in mind I didn’t see the clip of Simon telling the guy he should wear a dress. And from what I have read about that incident it was probably a completely different person with a completely different situation. I’m just wondering if this is an issue that GLAAD needs to rally behind to chastise FOX and American Idol. Like Brad Pitt said in Fight Club, “Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.“ But don’t get mad at people for being confused about it.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I'm In Love...
with a girl named Hoopz.
As horrified as I was by the idea of Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen, hooking up in Strange Love, I must admit Flavor of Love has become a guilty pleasure of mine. Initially, I thought it was hilarious:
1) because its Flavor Flav playing the bachelor
2) you get to see just how desperate women (people) can be
3) scheming golddigging bitches (and I mean that in the best way possible) and their delusions of grandeur really are train wreck disturbing and funny all at the same time
This is all a crazy recipe for insane drama. I watched the first episode with a mild sense of trepidation but since it was a lazy Sunday, with nothing else on, I gave it a chance. It wasn’t as bad as you might think. While it was strange and disturbing it was actually pretty funny. And not all of the woman on the show came off as money hungry gold diggers. Some actually seemed genuine and sweet. Others came off as... well, a little disturbed. While I haven’t seen every episode completely I do catch it when I can. So far it hasn’t disappointed in it’s entertainment value. If you can allow yourself to be entertained by such a show. But truth be told the only reason I do catch it when I can is one person in particular. Which brings me to the afore mentioned object of my affection.
Hoopz (nickname given to her by Flav, I didn’t catch any of the real names in the first ep) is one of the girls that seems to be surviving the cut every week on the show. And I’m glad she is. Because she is why I watch this show and she is beautiful. The most beautiful on that show in my opinion. I know Rain is probably saying, “what he doesn’t like the asian chicks?” Contrary to popular belief I have an appreciation for the beauty of all woman. Except for evil bitches. Unless they are exceptionally gorgeous. But even then... Anyway, most of the women on that should could be more attractive if they didn’t have all that makeup caked on the there faces. One of the things that I like about Hoopz is that she rarely wears any and when she does she doesn’t look all crazy. She is naturally fine and her body looks just right. Tats and all. Pretty eyes and one of those rare women with a smile that moves me. She is young, from Michigan and at the very least, edited to be a cool ass, down to Earth, round-the-way-girl type of chick. Plus, she can fry the hell out of some chicken. In retrospect I wonder if her Michigan vibe is what drew me to watch her more closely. Me being from Detroit and all. Did I mention she had a great body?
So, yeah I got a thing for a girl named Hoopz. Whose only apparent fault, I can find through the editing, is that she is on a show attempting to win the affection of an ole school rapper that looks like a cockroach (I like Flavor Flav as much as the next but let’s be real here, he ain’t winnin’ no beauty contests). So, for the few of you out there that are still trying to figure out my type (Brooklyn, Rain, I’m talking to you), check out the show and look for the girl named Hoopz. She is definitely my type. Edited personality and all. But hey, Flav’s Moms liked her. That’s got to count for something if momma thinks she’s cool. Right?
As horrified as I was by the idea of Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen, hooking up in Strange Love, I must admit Flavor of Love has become a guilty pleasure of mine. Initially, I thought it was hilarious:
1) because its Flavor Flav playing the bachelor
2) you get to see just how desperate women (people) can be
3) scheming golddigging bitches (and I mean that in the best way possible) and their delusions of grandeur really are train wreck disturbing and funny all at the same time
This is all a crazy recipe for insane drama. I watched the first episode with a mild sense of trepidation but since it was a lazy Sunday, with nothing else on, I gave it a chance. It wasn’t as bad as you might think. While it was strange and disturbing it was actually pretty funny. And not all of the woman on the show came off as money hungry gold diggers. Some actually seemed genuine and sweet. Others came off as... well, a little disturbed. While I haven’t seen every episode completely I do catch it when I can. So far it hasn’t disappointed in it’s entertainment value. If you can allow yourself to be entertained by such a show. But truth be told the only reason I do catch it when I can is one person in particular. Which brings me to the afore mentioned object of my affection.
Hoopz (nickname given to her by Flav, I didn’t catch any of the real names in the first ep) is one of the girls that seems to be surviving the cut every week on the show. And I’m glad she is. Because she is why I watch this show and she is beautiful. The most beautiful on that show in my opinion. I know Rain is probably saying, “what he doesn’t like the asian chicks?” Contrary to popular belief I have an appreciation for the beauty of all woman. Except for evil bitches. Unless they are exceptionally gorgeous. But even then... Anyway, most of the women on that should could be more attractive if they didn’t have all that makeup caked on the there faces. One of the things that I like about Hoopz is that she rarely wears any and when she does she doesn’t look all crazy. She is naturally fine and her body looks just right. Tats and all. Pretty eyes and one of those rare women with a smile that moves me. She is young, from Michigan and at the very least, edited to be a cool ass, down to Earth, round-the-way-girl type of chick. Plus, she can fry the hell out of some chicken. In retrospect I wonder if her Michigan vibe is what drew me to watch her more closely. Me being from Detroit and all. Did I mention she had a great body?
So, yeah I got a thing for a girl named Hoopz. Whose only apparent fault, I can find through the editing, is that she is on a show attempting to win the affection of an ole school rapper that looks like a cockroach (I like Flavor Flav as much as the next but let’s be real here, he ain’t winnin’ no beauty contests). So, for the few of you out there that are still trying to figure out my type (Brooklyn, Rain, I’m talking to you), check out the show and look for the girl named Hoopz. She is definitely my type. Edited personality and all. But hey, Flav’s Moms liked her. That’s got to count for something if momma thinks she’s cool. Right?
Monday, January 23, 2006
Gentrification: The Brilliance of the Boondocks
I like The Boondocks. I enjoy the strip and the cartoon is great. Catch it on Sunday nights at 11pm on Cartoon Network when you get a chance. Last night there was an episode called the Itis. Which was about GrandDad opening a restaurant of the same name, with Mr. Wuncler (the rich white guy from the first episode). I won’t bore you with the meaning of the ‘Itis.’ I suggest asking a black friend for some clarity. While initially it appears to be the main focus of the episode I think it has a more sinister commentary behind it.
*SPOILER WARNING*
See, GrandDad cooks on Sunday and makes food rich in pig lard. Actually, that and butter all he uses to cook. So even the vegetable dishes have pork in them. People eat, get the itis and Mr. Wuncler thinks GrandDads soul food would make a good restaurant. Cool, GrandDad is excited and Huey is deeply concerned about the health of the customers. Because people are getting addicted to the food. Like drug addicted. Literally people are becoming soul food junkies and slowly but surely the neighborhood degenerates into the type of place that police take hours to get to when a crime is committed. By the end of the episode Mr. Wuncler closes down the restaurant due to a multitude of lawsuits from customers who have become unhealthy after eating themselves silly. Doesn’t seem to bad, right? GrandDad cooks unhealthy food, gets a restaurant, Huey is deeply concerned, restaurant closes to obesity complications. An episode about the dangers of an unhealthy diet. What’s so sinister about that you, might ask? The gentrification of the neighborhood. Which was mostly gentrified anyway.
Even as I type this I have to wonder if there wasn’t something even more sinister than that going on here. Let me explain. When Mr. Wuncler takes GrandDad to see the future location of their restaurant (which is currently occupied by Wuncler’s health food cafe, which he hates and the people who frequent it) he makes a comment about how he has been trying to buy the park across the street for years. However, the city refuses to sell it to him, but he keeps trying. So, when Wuncler gets Chico (one of the cooks) to order some pigs, lard and butter he tells GrandDad that he wants to go for the whole urban black thing. Cause thats what the kids are into. Now by the end of the ep Wuncler closes shop because of the lawsuits. The first of which he offers to pay the insurance deductible and the case is settled. He leaves smiling and by the last scene the Itis, as well as the rest of the shops on the street, are all rundown and boarded up. Wuncler stands looking pensive and then he turns to look across the street. And what do we find? The park (which encompassed the whole other side of the block) is fenced up and there is construction equipment and huge signs that say Wuncler Construction. Close up on Wuncler. He smirks and walks off. Fade to Black. Credits roll.
When I saw that I said, “Damn, he finally got his park.” Then it occurred to me. He did all that just to get the park. My boy had come over to watch it too and after I said that he noted, “Damn, niggas, wouldn’t even get that. Niggas, wouldn’t even have noticed what just happened on this show. Damn.”
But now I think it’s worse than that. See, gentrification implies that you’re driving people out of their communities in order to buy it up for cheap and revamp it into something more conforming to the middle class life style. For example, allowing the inner city neighborhood of a place like, oh I don’t know, Detroit, to become so rundown and dilapidated that developers come in and buy up the property for cheap (relatively speaking). Moving out the remaining residents, that got no city support in helping to build up there neighborhood, and then developing new and thriving businesses so that white people move back to the inner city and you can have Super Bowl XL in your city. Thus, the rich getting richer and so forth.
In this episode, Wuncler did something above and beyond normal gentrification. He basically came up with a plan to run an entire neighborhood, that was already very well off, into the ground. As stated in the episode he pretty much owned most of the block. All he needed was that park. And by ruining a small community he got it. Which would surely add to his net worth once he has completed whatever he had in development at the park (or the former park I should say). With luck it will be brought up again in a later episode.
Maybe I’m putting to much thought into a cartoon but considering the social commentary that seems to go into weaved into every episode, I have to wonder. I’m not even sure if there is a word for what happened. Degentrification? Regentrification? Ultragentrification? Who knows? All I know is, that is the type of shit, that goes on in real life. Right under peoples noses. And it goes completely unnoticed. If you don’t believe me do some research on the city of Detroit or Atlanta or even Downtown LA. Maybe you might see a pattern. Or maybe the Boondocks is just a funny ass show.
*SPOILER WARNING*
See, GrandDad cooks on Sunday and makes food rich in pig lard. Actually, that and butter all he uses to cook. So even the vegetable dishes have pork in them. People eat, get the itis and Mr. Wuncler thinks GrandDads soul food would make a good restaurant. Cool, GrandDad is excited and Huey is deeply concerned about the health of the customers. Because people are getting addicted to the food. Like drug addicted. Literally people are becoming soul food junkies and slowly but surely the neighborhood degenerates into the type of place that police take hours to get to when a crime is committed. By the end of the episode Mr. Wuncler closes down the restaurant due to a multitude of lawsuits from customers who have become unhealthy after eating themselves silly. Doesn’t seem to bad, right? GrandDad cooks unhealthy food, gets a restaurant, Huey is deeply concerned, restaurant closes to obesity complications. An episode about the dangers of an unhealthy diet. What’s so sinister about that you, might ask? The gentrification of the neighborhood. Which was mostly gentrified anyway.
Even as I type this I have to wonder if there wasn’t something even more sinister than that going on here. Let me explain. When Mr. Wuncler takes GrandDad to see the future location of their restaurant (which is currently occupied by Wuncler’s health food cafe, which he hates and the people who frequent it) he makes a comment about how he has been trying to buy the park across the street for years. However, the city refuses to sell it to him, but he keeps trying. So, when Wuncler gets Chico (one of the cooks) to order some pigs, lard and butter he tells GrandDad that he wants to go for the whole urban black thing. Cause thats what the kids are into. Now by the end of the ep Wuncler closes shop because of the lawsuits. The first of which he offers to pay the insurance deductible and the case is settled. He leaves smiling and by the last scene the Itis, as well as the rest of the shops on the street, are all rundown and boarded up. Wuncler stands looking pensive and then he turns to look across the street. And what do we find? The park (which encompassed the whole other side of the block) is fenced up and there is construction equipment and huge signs that say Wuncler Construction. Close up on Wuncler. He smirks and walks off. Fade to Black. Credits roll.
When I saw that I said, “Damn, he finally got his park.” Then it occurred to me. He did all that just to get the park. My boy had come over to watch it too and after I said that he noted, “Damn, niggas, wouldn’t even get that. Niggas, wouldn’t even have noticed what just happened on this show. Damn.”
But now I think it’s worse than that. See, gentrification implies that you’re driving people out of their communities in order to buy it up for cheap and revamp it into something more conforming to the middle class life style. For example, allowing the inner city neighborhood of a place like, oh I don’t know, Detroit, to become so rundown and dilapidated that developers come in and buy up the property for cheap (relatively speaking). Moving out the remaining residents, that got no city support in helping to build up there neighborhood, and then developing new and thriving businesses so that white people move back to the inner city and you can have Super Bowl XL in your city. Thus, the rich getting richer and so forth.
In this episode, Wuncler did something above and beyond normal gentrification. He basically came up with a plan to run an entire neighborhood, that was already very well off, into the ground. As stated in the episode he pretty much owned most of the block. All he needed was that park. And by ruining a small community he got it. Which would surely add to his net worth once he has completed whatever he had in development at the park (or the former park I should say). With luck it will be brought up again in a later episode.
Maybe I’m putting to much thought into a cartoon but considering the social commentary that seems to go into weaved into every episode, I have to wonder. I’m not even sure if there is a word for what happened. Degentrification? Regentrification? Ultragentrification? Who knows? All I know is, that is the type of shit, that goes on in real life. Right under peoples noses. And it goes completely unnoticed. If you don’t believe me do some research on the city of Detroit or Atlanta or even Downtown LA. Maybe you might see a pattern. Or maybe the Boondocks is just a funny ass show.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Oprah Sucks...
Ok, not really. Just her show. Which I don’t normally watch. Earlier this week I was duped into taping an episode with the promise that, “if you are in debt you can’t afford to miss this episode.” Of course, I thought this was a good idea. I’m in debt, so I figured she would be offering up some good information. So, I tape the episode and a couple days later sat down to watch it. All the while thinking there would be some good info for people in debt (not that I don’t know how to manage my debt mind you, but knowledge is power). I couldn’t have been more wrong. This was more worthless than the episode she had a year or two ago about people that became millionaires. Let me digress and briefly recap that old episode:
Oprah: So how did you get started?
Guest: Well I had an idea, I worked at it, made these teddy bears, and now I’m filthy fuckin’ rich.
(keep in mind this particular guest had already had a lucrative career in the business world, big time stockbroker or CEO or something like that)
Oprah: Isn’t that great everybody?!?!
*audience screaming & applause*
And it pretty much went on like that every few minutes for the whole episode. Oprah speaks to guest, guest responds, Oprah responds and the audience goes ape shit for what seems like waaaaaay too long. I should have learned my lesson then. By contrast, several years ago she actually had a similar show about this where Robert Kiyosaki actually offered some real advice. At least, some more than just, “you can do it.” Which brings me to this past weeks episodes...
It started off interestingly enough. Black couple living the american dream. Working class husband and wife. They both work. Have a nice house. Nice cars. Husband makes the bulk of the money. Wife keeps the house running (i.e. keeps the bills paid). There income combined is well over 100K and hubby has something like $60K or $80K in the 401K. Doing pretty well for themselves. Except wifey has a secret. Something horrible and potentially devastating to their relationship. Hmm, this is Oprah and it’s a show about debt. So I guess she didn’t use to be a man and she’s probably not cheating on him. She agonized and cried and physically made herself sick for the first 15 to 20 minutes of the show. Apparently they weren’t as debt free as hubby thought they were (he himself claims to be completely debt free). See hubby thought that with the house and car notes they were in the hole about $40. Um, yeah think again. They are in it for about $160K. Given wifey’s credit cards and student loans with their ever accruing interest (I’m feeling her on that one but she got me bet, easy) they are in deep. Hubby had no idea. At all. He was shocked, stunned and every other word you can think of. And what does Oprah do? She explains that she wasn’t out to ambush him or embarrass them. It’s not that kind of show. So she brings out Dave Ramsey. He wrote a book about being rich then poor then rich again. So he is an expert on debt. And what does he do? Basically, he explains to them, for the reminder of their time on the show, that they can deal with this, get passed it, and work it out. But they will have to work together. And he will help them after the show. Um, WHAT. THE. FUCK?
That was it? That was his big advice? This is why people in debt should watch this show? They can’t be serious. Maybe they will save the good stuff for last. One more family to go. This will be brief...
Ok, the first half hour was useless. Second half brings a new family. Affluent, white family of four. One son (16) and one daughter (17). With credit cards and absolutely no concept of work, working, or where money comes from. None what so ever. Buying shoes, Prada bags, and lunch for their friends like their credit limit was free refills of coke at Applebee’s that someone else bought them. And the parents are at their wits end as to what to do about it. The father is completely incapacitated not speaking more than 2 words the whole show. The mother just going on and on about how great her kids are. No discipline problems, straight A’s, never getting into trouble, just great, great, great (Oh, and they each have brand new cars because the parents want them to be safe [forget the fact that daughter completely totaled her first one after something like a month no less]). Except, they are spoiled fuckin’ rotten and incapable of surviving in the real world with out leeching off of Mommy and Daddy. Oprah and Dave pretty much told them this. And what was Dave Debt Experts advise? Of course, since it was mostly about the kids for this fam, he encouraged them to teach them discipline, make them work, learn about money, blah, blah, blah... Ultimately, it boiled down to you can deal with this, get passed it, and work it out. Not to mention the parents apparent resistance to any idea that there is something wrong with this. But that’s ok, cause Dave is going to work with them after the show too. Um, Shows over folks.
And this is the show people in debt needed to see? Why? So we can feel better about our own situation? I was so pissed after watching this crap. I could have learned more passing the time on the internet then the hour I spent on this drivel. I expect something more informative from Oprah than this. But, then again, I blame that on Robert Kiyosaki...
Oprah: So how did you get started?
Guest: Well I had an idea, I worked at it, made these teddy bears, and now I’m filthy fuckin’ rich.
(keep in mind this particular guest had already had a lucrative career in the business world, big time stockbroker or CEO or something like that)
Oprah: Isn’t that great everybody?!?!
*audience screaming & applause*
And it pretty much went on like that every few minutes for the whole episode. Oprah speaks to guest, guest responds, Oprah responds and the audience goes ape shit for what seems like waaaaaay too long. I should have learned my lesson then. By contrast, several years ago she actually had a similar show about this where Robert Kiyosaki actually offered some real advice. At least, some more than just, “you can do it.” Which brings me to this past weeks episodes...
It started off interestingly enough. Black couple living the american dream. Working class husband and wife. They both work. Have a nice house. Nice cars. Husband makes the bulk of the money. Wife keeps the house running (i.e. keeps the bills paid). There income combined is well over 100K and hubby has something like $60K or $80K in the 401K. Doing pretty well for themselves. Except wifey has a secret. Something horrible and potentially devastating to their relationship. Hmm, this is Oprah and it’s a show about debt. So I guess she didn’t use to be a man and she’s probably not cheating on him. She agonized and cried and physically made herself sick for the first 15 to 20 minutes of the show. Apparently they weren’t as debt free as hubby thought they were (he himself claims to be completely debt free). See hubby thought that with the house and car notes they were in the hole about $40. Um, yeah think again. They are in it for about $160K. Given wifey’s credit cards and student loans with their ever accruing interest (I’m feeling her on that one but she got me bet, easy) they are in deep. Hubby had no idea. At all. He was shocked, stunned and every other word you can think of. And what does Oprah do? She explains that she wasn’t out to ambush him or embarrass them. It’s not that kind of show. So she brings out Dave Ramsey. He wrote a book about being rich then poor then rich again. So he is an expert on debt. And what does he do? Basically, he explains to them, for the reminder of their time on the show, that they can deal with this, get passed it, and work it out. But they will have to work together. And he will help them after the show. Um, WHAT. THE. FUCK?
That was it? That was his big advice? This is why people in debt should watch this show? They can’t be serious. Maybe they will save the good stuff for last. One more family to go. This will be brief...
Ok, the first half hour was useless. Second half brings a new family. Affluent, white family of four. One son (16) and one daughter (17). With credit cards and absolutely no concept of work, working, or where money comes from. None what so ever. Buying shoes, Prada bags, and lunch for their friends like their credit limit was free refills of coke at Applebee’s that someone else bought them. And the parents are at their wits end as to what to do about it. The father is completely incapacitated not speaking more than 2 words the whole show. The mother just going on and on about how great her kids are. No discipline problems, straight A’s, never getting into trouble, just great, great, great (Oh, and they each have brand new cars because the parents want them to be safe [forget the fact that daughter completely totaled her first one after something like a month no less]). Except, they are spoiled fuckin’ rotten and incapable of surviving in the real world with out leeching off of Mommy and Daddy. Oprah and Dave pretty much told them this. And what was Dave Debt Experts advise? Of course, since it was mostly about the kids for this fam, he encouraged them to teach them discipline, make them work, learn about money, blah, blah, blah... Ultimately, it boiled down to you can deal with this, get passed it, and work it out. Not to mention the parents apparent resistance to any idea that there is something wrong with this. But that’s ok, cause Dave is going to work with them after the show too. Um, Shows over folks.
And this is the show people in debt needed to see? Why? So we can feel better about our own situation? I was so pissed after watching this crap. I could have learned more passing the time on the internet then the hour I spent on this drivel. I expect something more informative from Oprah than this. But, then again, I blame that on Robert Kiyosaki...
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